Jan 16, 2007 - this Philistine

*************No Cliffnotes, Just Micah writting about finding courage to engage in spiritual battles********************************

"Oh, but you're a Routon" they used to say as we were growing up. It was a phrase used by our friends in high school to explain how come my brother and I never really got hurt. It wasn't that we played it safe either. Since we were born there has been a vein of adventure running through our very being. Growing us we tried every form of cheap extreme sports that we could think of. We jumped off of everything we could climb, from buildings to cliffs to bridges. I even remember once at a family camp when I was about 11, directing classes for some younger friends of ours how to jump off of the roof of a building and land 'safely' in the sand of the playground below, when their parents rounded the corner. My mom tells stories to this day of how shortly after we had learned to walk, she found us sitting on top of a swing set more than 10 feet off the ground. I guess Aaron and I didn't always grow up with a proper level of fear. And I'm not writing this with any form of conceit, fear can be a good thing. It's just that we never really got hurt, so we never really had a reason to fear.
Now before you start thinking that such a pain tolerance must have been great in sports, let me explain something. Though God blessed us with an ability to escape injury, we were not blessed with what coaches call "coordination." Determination, strength, and a decent level of speed we had...but coordination...forget it. In 7th grade basketball, though I could run the court all day long, I could not quite ever get the ball through the hoop. My sophomore year in high school, I made the varsity soccer team (quite an accomplishment for a sophomore). Though I sat the bench alot that year, when my coach would finally put me in, his last minute instructions to me weren't: "score a goal, make good passes, or use your head," but instead "establish a presence." So in I'd run, chasing the ball as hard as I could, usually knocking someone down in the process. It wasn't that I meant to mind you, it just seemed to happen. I'd like to say that being in Brazil has changed all of this, that my soccer skills have developed to such a point that I now play with what they call "finesse," but that wouldn't quite be true. My skills have developed, and I do score alot more goals, but one of my Brazilian friends recently told me that I play like a truck without brakes. So when I'm picked for our weekly games, deep down, I'm not sure if it's because they want me to score goals, or if they don't want to get hurt. But they keep playing and I haven't sent any of my friends to the hospital since college.
But growing up, this fuzzy line between fear and wrecklesness carried into some other areas of life as well. From driving to my spiritual life, I have never felt hindered by what some would call "reality." But then slowly things started to change. When I was starting to surf, I was never afraid of the big waves until I watched Aaron get sucked out to sea during an Oregon storm, and he disappeared from sight for more than 2 minutes. I was never afraid of jumping off of things until a bad water landing from a 90ft bridge kept me from walking for a couple of weeks, and running for months. I was never afraid of trying new tricks on my roller blades until I lost 2 front teeth and messed up my wrists for years. Now my toes hurt weekly from soccer, I've got a permanent lump from a dislocated shoulder, and to top it all off I now use reading glasses. All this before I'm thirty.
Marla says, I've finally gotten smarter. Like when we are at the beach this past December, we decided not to surf at the beach that had bone crushing waves. Aaron eve decided to check the depth of some water BEFORE jumping in. I don't know. This contrast was brought to light this past weekend when I was hanging out with a 12 year old boy. He was on his bike riding wheelies down the street, and climbing to sit at the top of various public workout equipment, while I was busy telling stories of what I used to do when I was growing up. "I used to...", used to. Have I now become "a used to." Now to be honest the physical implications of the question doesn't worry me. I know I'm getting older and need to take care of myself, it's the spiritual implication that have me thinking.
Just as things happened physically that made me stop and think, so too have things happened spiritually that have effected me more than I first had first thought. One was last year. I started an accountability group with about 3 other guys. It was a great time when we would come together weekly, be completely honest with one another, encourage each other, and uphold each other in prayer. These 3 guys were either young believers, or newly recommitted believers. But then the world and it's cares came and started to choke the new spiritual life of 2 of these three. It's funny reading the Bible. In Jesus's parable of the sower, the seed lands on 4 very different types of soil. What is interesting is that 3 or the 4 types receive the Word of God (we might call this 'conversion'). But of the 3 types of soil that receive the Word, only 1 actually reproduces in any significant way. As people working in churches we hope and even expect that every new convert will be this 4rth type of soil. And when things don't turn out like we expect we become disappointed and discouraged. And so it happened with me. Last May I left Brasil with 1 of my 3 avoiding the rest of our group as well as the rest of the church. By the time I got back in September another one had left the church, not involved anywhere else. I know these aren't my guys, they belong to God, but gosh, I had seen their hearts, I had seen their desire to serve, I had seen how they were willing to take a stand for Jesus, only for the devil to trip them up. And it's not just that either, there are other things too. Being married has changed things a bit, and I imagine have children will change things even more. Now my wife is amazing, and her parents have raised he to know her provision comes from the Lord, but living with the "I'll go anywhere, anytime" mind set has gotten more complicated for me. Since being in Brazil I have also seen the power of macumba (witchcraft). 'Storming hells gates' was alot more romantic to talk about before I saw people I knew suffering physically and emotionally the effects of evil incantations.
Just as there is a line between fearless and wrecklesness, there exists a line between having a healthy respect of something and fearing that thing. So when 2 of the original 3 in my guys group asked me to start the group again, even enlarging it, I had to face this fear. Fear of what? Fear of something happening. Fear of leading some into a deeper spiritual existence where they and their family will be attacked, fear of seeing some fall. But the God we serve is not a God of fear, but a God of boldness and of courage. So what difference does courage make anyway? Is not the situation the same whether you have fear or have courage? Let me illustrate this with a story that came from this week's sermon. This story is found in the book of 1 Samuel. The setting: early in the kingdom of Israel. Saul is the king, and you have two opposing armies camped on opposite hills with a valley in between. Everyday a giant name Goliath comes out and demeans the Israeli army. A small shepherd boy arrives on the scene appalled at the audacity of this giant, and faces him in battle. The bible says that after he chose 5 smooth stones, and exchanged some words with the giant he "ran to the battle line." We all know what happened next, he killed the giant. But what really happened to the two armies? From a strategic point of view, their situation changed very little. One less giant on one side, and a small shepherd holding the head of Goliath on the other, but strategically very little changed ...but courage arrived, and it was contagious. The whole Israeli army raced through the valley to the other camp, destroying the Philistine army. What changed? Courage arrived.
Just as fear is contagious, courage is also contagious. One of my favorite happenings of the Bible is also about David. There he was rejected by his king, running for his life, and the down and out people of society started to be drawn to him. The Bible describes the scene in 1 Sam 22:1-2 as "David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father's household heard about it they went down there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he (David) became their leader." Sounds like a real group of winners huh? But they rallied around David, they rallied around his God. And do you know what became of group of distressed, indebted, discontented men? They became known as David's mighty men. In time, they themselves would kill giants and defy entire armies, and single handily kill 300 men with one spear. Courage is contagious.
And today do we serve a different God than that of David. Is our God any less able to do the impossible? Any less ready? So why then do we fear? We fear because will focus more on our situation than on God. In our story of David and Goliath, listen where David's focus was: 1 Sam 17:36 "Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like on of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear, will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." David never even gives the giant a name...he just calls him "this Philistine."
His size of his faith had nothing to do with the size of his problem. In fact you could say that the size of his faith could only be measured by the size of his problem. And so it is with us.
So the business with this guys group; I would ask for your prayers. I would also ask for your continued prayers for Marla and I down here. Having a "healthy respect" for this type of warfare means we know that battles are won on our knees, and on your knees. We covet every prayer offered up, and will keep you posted on requests for prayer. And if the tone of this e-mail started in an air of fear it let it now end with a sense of confidence because the God we serve is a big God, eternal and never changing.