Dec. 14, 2005 - Into the Battle

**************”Into the Battle” Cliffnotes available at the bottom of the page**************************************

I guess it probably started back in June at our eXtreme Walk training in Marion,Indiana. Not during a session, or class, but during worship. That's when I gave full permission, for the first time, for God to burden my heart with the things that burdens His. These are nice words to be sure. Nice to think about, and they sound great in sermons, but until that point there had always been a part of me resistant to praying those words. Afraid of the consequences of such a surrender. But there I was, in His awesome presence, knowing His plans for me were always good. Always to give me a hope and a future. So finally I laid it down, my last bit of resistance, and committed myself to His plans once again. No more was I trying to work for God's kingdom AND have my own long range plans. And in reality it was truly liberating.

So what did God begin to do? Slowly he began to prepare me for my time here. He brought us here to Basil and opened doors for us to get to know the folks here. We were there at their baptism, and were glad at what God was doing in their lives. The church was (still is) growing, and so were the depths of our relationships with others. And more and more our hearts were being expanded to calls these new people friends. But for me, friendship always implies some level of responsibility. As friends, and especially as Christian brothers and sisters, we are to help one another in areas of weakness. When they stumble are to help them up. That is the duty, the responsibility and the privilege of being a friend. This I understood. I guess what I didn't understand, and in reality still don't understand is the depth that spiritual powers play in this "stumbling."

Ephesians 6:12 says: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." For years I've understood this truth from an academic standpoint, but until recently, I've never truly let this principal transform the way I look at problems. Don't get me wrong, from the time of my childhood I was always fascinated with spiritual warfare. Fascinated in the same way that a boy is fascinated with fighter jets. Amazed at the mechanics, the power and the stories. But for me, it was only a fascination. In truth I was afraid. Just like I liked seeing a jet fighters power fully displayed, I knew this only happened in time of war. And war means injuries, war means casualties and war means death. And that was a price I wasn't willing to pay. As I grew, I never became a fighter pilot. And in the same way, I guess I figured that true spiritual warfare was for other people. People stronger than I. I understood that those who engage in warfare, especially spiritual warfare (it matters not what continent you are on) are on the front lines. And people on the front lines can attract the most attention from the enemy. And I guess I wasn't willing to pay that price personally.

So what did God do, he began to expand my heart while at the same time opening my eyes. I've been reading a book lately on intercessory prayer, which has been challenging me greatly. It has been challenging me to start seeing our problems in spiritual terms. While at the same time, my relationship with some of these guys at church has been growing deeper and deeper. We are beginning to share with each other areas where we struggle. As I'm becoming more aware of these areas of weakness, I'm seeing them more and more through a spiritual lens. Let me give you one example......

Flash back to our first month here in Londrina. Marla and I were just walking around the downtown one evening, and we passed a street that had been closed, a stage erected and an orchestra warming up. Obvious that the performance was yet to come, we killed some time, and returned an hour later. Yes, there was an orchestra, but there was also a kids choir, acrobats from a circus, and multiple groups of teenage girls to preform a choreographed dance (a thing very popular here). There was a big crowd, and being downtown we even had a few cross dressers mingling trying to talk with people. The various groups took turns performing as the street crowded with people. It was fun, but there in the middle of it all I got a very dark picture of a spiritual reality. If you know anything about Brazil at all, it is no secret that along with many great things, this is a very sensual culture. A land famous for small swimsuits and carnival ("carne" Portuguese for "flesh" and I imagine "val" taken from the word festival?) There are porn magazines available at nearly every newsstands, and some billboards that leave little to the imagination. Even the dances of these teenage groups that night had some very sensual elements. During one of their performances, in an instant, I got a mental picture of a dark force moving these dancers, like a puppeteer moves a puppet. And every time he did, the crowd would respond in such a mindless, Pavlovian way. I knew how much our enemy hates man kind. How he hates man because the image of God that was created in man. And in this moment I saw how he desires to twist and pervert that image as much as he can, smearing it through the mud. And how in this situation he was using sex to do it. Being one that is not accustomed to seeing spiritual truths in such a way, I didn't know what to do with the information. I wasn't scared, or didn't feel suffocated, I just was aware of the situation. And I felt pity. The type of pity you feel for people who are in bondage...and don't even know it....

Anyway, back to seeing problems through a spiritual lens. As I'm getting to know these guys more and more, we are beginning to share in an authentic way. How things are "really" going. Areas of weakness, and areas of needed growth. While at the same time beginning to see these struggles than more than just against "flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and rulers of the darkness." I want so much to help them. But I feel, I don't know how. They clearly need a spiritual warrior, but for so long I resisted training because of what I feared it would cost me. And now, I feel my ignorance is costing those I love. And all of a sudden it makes perfect sense to me. Those who volunteer to join our military armies, don't necessarily sign up because they love to fight. They don't sign up because they love to see blood and guts and gore, they sign up to defend those who can't defend themselves. What a staggering truth. They sign up for a cause. War, spiritually and militarily, is both offensive and defensive. When at war, simply choosing not to fight doesn't mean I will be spared the cost of battle. When I don't put on my armor, when I don't pray, others can pay the price.

So here I am, knowing I need to be a warrior for these guys, but feeling completely inadequate. I find comfort in knowing that "when I am weak, then He is strong," and in the prayers of all of you. I need wisdom, I need to know how to pray, I need to know when to pray and when to act. I need insight and direction. And yet through this all, I'm finding peace. I know the situation is in God's hands. Even Him bringing us here for this time was according to His will. I know He will be there, and He will be faithful to these guys, it's just hard for me to see them fall. I know what it's like to fall, I have been there. I have walked the same road as some of these guys, and struggled with some of the same things they struggle with. But God, through the prayers of others, released to me victory over this temptation, over this struggle. And I want that same thing so badly for them.

When we first began this group of guys, I debated with myself if I should share the story of my deliverance with them. I wanted to identify with them, and feared that speaking of my freedom, would be received as not being willing to be vulnerable. (After all it is far easier to speak of answered prayers than prayer requests with those you hardly know.) I feared that this perceived "invulnerability" would be reciprocated by the rest of the group establishing in an unwritten precedent of superficiality. But then in that still small voice of God said "don't be afraid to be mighty."

"Mighty" its a word we don't use all the much any more. Once, I heard a pastor give a sermon on the mighty men of David. Teaching on who they were before they met David. 1 Samuel 22:2 reads: "All those who were in distress or debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader." They were not so much a group of winners if you ask me, but they rallied around David. David 'the giant killer' and in time they too became giant killers, defeat'ers of armies and defenders of Israel. I knew exactly what God was saying when He said "don't be afraid to be mighty." Nelson Mandella put it this way: "We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing so enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god which is within us."

So, do I yet feel mighty? Do I feel ready to attack the enemy and His strong holds? Do I feel adequate to defend the ones I love? No, not yet. But I know I'm here for a reason, and no longer will I let fear keep me from going into the battle.

Thanks for your prayers and support,
in Him,
Micah and Marla

ps. please also pray for safe journies for my twin brother Aaron who is comig to visit us this Christmas. He'll be our first visitor and we are very excited to have him. I also have a little funny story, but I'll share it next time. Thanks again for being a part of this.

*****************Into the Battle Cliffnotes*****************************************************************************
In this email I discussed fears that I had in participating in spiritual warfare. I was afraid of the personal cost of going to the front lines. But through a series of events, I've come to understand that just like a real army, many of those who enlist, enlist not for blood and or the love of war, but to protect something precious. And I've began to understand my inavailbility for serious training in warfare (because of selfishness) can cost those whom I love. I am not sure exactly what to do now, but I've descided to join the battle. I need to know what I'm doing. So as you pray for me please pray for wisdom and for the guys of this guys group.
************************************************************************************************************************