Friday, February 27, 2009

Feb. 26, 2009 - Pondered in Her Heart

**************************Cliffnotes available at page bottom**********************************************

Concerning the birth of Jesus, the Gospel of Luke tells us that "Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart." (Lk. 2:19). I've often wondered just what did she treasure. What details, as a mother, did she ponder... did she hold dear. So in the retelling of the birth of our second daughter I thought it only right to let Marla be the one to tell this story. So without any further words from me, I give you the birth of Noelle Nicole, as seen from her mother's eyes.

As all of you know I have been pregnant for the last 9 months. And yes, I'm pretty happy to be able to see my toes again. During the course of the pregnancy it was discovered that this was to be a "high risk" pregnancy. The problem began because my blood type is RH-, which would not have been a problem if Micah's blood type was also RH-. Because he has a positive blood type, Samara also had a positive blood type. Again, this is pretty common, and isn't usually a problem in the United States because here, women with RH- blood are given a shot called rogahm, which works to mask the RH factor. Because most of Samara's pregnancy and her birth was in Brazil, the doctors never gave me rogahm. And somewhere at the end Samara's pregnancy, possibly at birth, my blood became exposed to her + blood type, and my body began to produce antibodies to fight this "foreign invader." This wasn't much of a problem for Samara because she was so far developed, and it took my body a while to start producing these antibodies in large quantities. Then we became pregnant with Noelle. Early in this pregnancy my immune system recognized another "foreign intruder" and began working overtime to produce these antibodies. Fast forward to about 20 weeks into this pregnancy. During the first appointment here in the states my doctor during the routine blood tests finds these abnormally high levels of antibodies. Thus began the weekly trips to the perinatal clinic for ultrasounds and doctor visits, as well as our crash course in why all this matters and what could happen to our baby as a result. There were two possible things that could have happened to Noelle in utero. One being that her system would be overwhelmed by all these antibodies killing off her red blood cells and she would develop anemia, leading to possible blood transfusions in utero. The second, and the one that did happen, was that her little immune system would work in high gear and begin producing huge levels of red blood cells to compensate for the ones my antibodies were killing off.
Fast forward to last Saturday afternoon, my mom was flying in on standby from Alaska and after watching seven flights take off without her, finally caught one that landed her in Portland at PM. We came home and were excited to have few days to spend together before Noelle arrived. But God had other plans. Only twelve hours after my mom's arrival (about 4:30am), I awoke feeling contractions that were becoming more consistent and closer together. I timed them for about an hour and they were a steady 10 minutes apart. I woke up Micah and as he was finishing packing our things for the hospital, I also woke up my Mom and she said something along the lines of "you're kidding!" As we walked in the hospital (about 7:30) the nurses were changing shifts and we saw a friend from our church who I've gotten to know through a womens prayer group. So Jamie got to be my triage nurse. A bit later after I'd walked the halls having contractions and finally got admitted and into a room we found out that my doctor, Dr. Guinn, was the one on call that day! As the hours wore on my contractions got closer and closer together. Finally at 3pm Dr Guinn broke my water and things really progressed after that. It was the most intense and difficult thing I've ever done. Micah was an awesome "coach" as he breathed with me through every contraction and knew just exactly how to help me cope. It was also so special that my Mom got to be there, she would be massaging my back while I was breathing and getting through each contraction. I got to the point where I knew that I couldn't go on for many more hours without something to help with the pain so we decided to do a dose of Fentanol which took the edge off the pain for about 1/2 an hour. I think I had that two times. I don't know how much it really helped physically but I think that mentally I thought it was helping and that made me believe I could keep going. Labor seemed to go on forever...finally I was dilated fully and the Doctor said I could start pushing. This was great as it felt like we were really getting close. I'd pushed for about an hour when the doctor said she needed to use the forceps to help Noelle's head come out. So in went the forceps and with one more big push at 8:36 pm Noelle Nicole was born. Micah cut the cord and Dr. Guinn placed her directly on my chest where the nurses rubbed and wiped at her with a towel. It really was a fabulous moment to finally be holding this little girl we've been praying for and anticipating for so long. Micah's parents, brother Ben and Samara were able to come in and meet Noelle and it was so cute to see how excited Samara was to meet baby Noelle. And compared to our experience in Brazil this was SOOO much better. The nurses were super helpful, and we felt very supported and well taken care of.
Noelle spent that first night in our room where I was able to hold her and feed her and snuggle her. First thing the following morning they did a blood test and we found out that her bilirubin count was high at 9.4 and she needed to be admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). By Monday afternoon she was in the level 2 of the NICU (the higher the number...the higher the danger...3 is the max) under the blue lights that help break down the bilirubin in the skin so it could be passed from her body through her digestive system. It was really hard to not be able to hold her and snuggle her. We could only take her out about every three hours for 1/2 an hour to feed her. They began testing Noelle's blood every 6-12 hours to monitor her bilirubin levels more closely. On Tuesday morning I was discharged from the hospital, but the nurse got permission for us to "board" at the hospital while Noelle was in NICU. That meant that they found a room that wasn't being used across the hall from the NICU and we were able to stay in it. It had a bed, a tv and a bathroom. They let us use it with the understanding that as soon as it was needed for another patient we'd be kicked out. It was so wonderful to be able to be right there and see Noelle whenever we wanted to and to hold her little hands and to pray over her and to be able to nurse her. They tested her again Tuesday morning her count had risen to 10.4. By Wednesday morning it was at 16.4 and by that evening the it had level jumped again to 18.9. What the pediatrician couldn't figure out is that even after having received intense photo therapy for almost 36 hours, her bilirubin count continued to climb. It was at that point that the doctor transferred care to a neonatalogist who had been called in especially to care for Noelle. Our neonatalogist was named Dr Newman. Dr Newman was wonderful as she came into our room and explained everything in great detail. From what we remember, she said that Noelle's bilirubin levels were alarmingly high, even with the photo therapy because her problem was concentrated in the blood. She said that Noelle was born with the number of antibodies (from me) in her little system, but her little body had been attaining equilibrium in utero by producing a high number of red blood cells. The thing is, after she was born, she was no longer receiving more antibodies from me, but her body didn't know this for a while, so her immune system was continuing to crank out a high number of red blood cells. Those red blood cells filled her body and then would die. These cells were being produced and dying so fast, that her liver couldn't process them out as fast as they were dying. So they were building up in her system. As those blood cells died and burst open they released a substance called bilirubin that is yellow in color thus causing the jaundiced yellow skin color. High levels of bilirubin can have very serious and permanent effects of brain damage, deafness, seizures and even mental retardation. These begin to happen with levels near 25. Dr Newman was not wanting to get any closer to those numbers and said we needed to intervene right away. She said that Noelle's bilirubin count already warranted a blood transfer and had even ordered the blood from the blood bank before coming to talk to us. A blood exchange in a newborn is taking all of her blood out via a vein in her umbilical cord, while at the same time slowly injecting in somebody else's blood through an artery in her umbilical chord. St Vincent is a huge hospital with the largest NICU in the state. There are about 600 babies born there each month, and even so, this transfusion procedure is very rare. Dr. Newman said they only do "several a year." She said it takes about three hours for the blood to be ready and that in the meantime there was one other treatment (IV IG) they were going to try where they give Noelle a drug through an IV in her umbilical cord that helps to kind of coagulate the bilirubin so her little body can pass it out more efficiently. This was all very emotional for Micah and I, we knew there were so many risks and all we coud do was pray and trust that God was in control. At that point Noelle had already been transferred to the third and highest level of the NICU. As Dr. Newman handed us documents to sign authorizing such a procedure we began to realize how very serious Noelle's condition was or could become. I cried in Micah's arms multiple times and while we were so very thankful to be where Noelle had great care. It was so hard to watch her little body laying there knowing the fight that was going on inside of her. Needless to say we were all for Dr Newman doing whatever she needed to help Noelle.
Surprisingly, IV IG drug treatment helped. After the first treatment was given late Wednesday night (it takes several hours to administer the treatment), her levels had dropped to 17. Dr. Newman was pleased enough to call off the transfusion for the time being and to give Noelle one more dose of the IV IG the next morning. As it turned out, when the doctor tried to put in the IVs in Noelle's umbilical cord, it was already too dried up to access the veins and arteries there so they had to give her an the IV through the soft spot in her head. The second dose of the IV IG, going in again through that IV in her head, brought her bilirubin levels down and it did not look like Noelle would need the transfusion after all. PRAISE GOD!!
During all this time Micah and I were totally supported by so many of you, family and friends who were praying for us and for Noelle and even a few who came to visit. One thing that was so wonderful was that between the two Grammas, Samara was totally being taken care of. She was in her own home, with her toys and bed and normal routine. This made it so much easier on me, not having to worry about Samara. Yes, it broke my heart each time she came to visit and would cry when she had to say goodbye. However I knew without a doubt that she was totally fine, and that as soon as the elevator doors closed she'd stop crying and be having fun with her "maamaw and maamaw laska". And as for my mother, she said that she was in "Gramma heaven," finally getting so spend so much one on one time with Samara.
Thursday Noelle was monitored and her levels had continued to drop, and she was moved back to level 2 in the NICU. They had done the IV IG and now they removed on of the big lights from above her so see what would happen to her bilirubin levels. We could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Friday we were just waiting and watching to see what her levels would do and what the Dr would say. They were hovering around 9.5. We knew that she might have to be in the hospital for several more days, and we were so thankful and amazed that we'd been able to board in the hospital all this time. Saturday morning after we went in for her normal morning feeding, the nurses called to say the neonatalogist that was on call was there to talk to us. Dr Kemp told us that Noelle's levels were looking good and that he was going to release her to go home!!! We were totally surprised, in a good way, and so thankful. It took nearly 5 more hours to actually be released. The hospital code of "hurry up and wait." The one condition in bringing her home was that we had to get a Wallaby (portable bili-light blanket) to bring home with us and she had to have it on her 24 hours a day. So we had to wait for it to be delivered from somewhere in the depths of the hospital. There was the normal checklist of things to go over and finally at about 2pm a NICU nurse escorted us to the front doors and helped into the car. It was a great moment to drive away and have Noelle safely strapped into her car seat behind us.
We arrived home to grandparents armed with cameras to document Noelle's arrival. I think they were happy to see Micah and I too =0) It's been great to be home and sleep in our own bed and eat good food and have our little family together again. Samara is pretty enthralled with baby Noelle and loves to help with everything. She is a great big sister and transitioning really well to this new addition to the family.
We still have Noelle on the Wallaby and we have to take her every morning to the hospital for a blood test. The last two days she has been barely under 10 in her bilirubin count, so she is holding steady. We do not know how long this will go on, it could be days or it could be weeks. We are just taking one day at a time and are thankful for all or the support, emails, cards, gifts and prayers that all of you have sent our way. It's been an emotional week, but we've seen and experienced God's faithfulness in such personal ways this week. He's met every need and taken care of every detail. From my Mom arriving in time for the birth and being here to help with Samara, to my Doctor being the one on call, to catching the high levels of bilirubin so early, to a great neonatalogist, to being able to room in at the hospital the whole time, to Noelle eating well. Over and over we've seen God's hand in this situation and we praise Him for his goodness to us.
When I became pregnant with Noelle I spent a lot of time praying about this little one and who she would be and specifically what her name should be. I'd go on long walks and think and pray for both Samara and for this new little life growing inside of me. There was a word that the Lord pressed on my heart for Noelle when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. It was the word victory. I shared this with Micah and of course we got online and looked up all kinds of names that had the word victory or victorious in the meaning. But we just didn't really like any of them. I also had fear in my heart that if this baby's name had the meaning of victory that she would have difficult things in her life to be victorious over. I was afraid of what that might mean. So I just pushed the prompting from the Lord to the back of my mind and we looked at all kinds of other names for this baby. But nothing seemed right. five or six weeks later Micah and I were talking and he said he really liked the name Noelle but it means "day of birth" which didn't seem very cool at the time. Then after we found out about all the possible complications with this pregnancy we came back to the word victory as it seemed that God new what He was talking about after all in that being the word pressed on my heart. In our looking we came upon the name Nicole which means "victory for the people" and we liked the idea of combining the names Noelle and Nicole for the general meaning of "a victorious day of birth." Her birth was indeed wonderful in that she is now here and we can hold her and love on her and be delighted in her. While there were some scary and sketchy times in that first week we are thankful for the victorious day of her birth and we look forward to seeing how she will live out a life of victory as God continue to write His story through her life.
Thank you all for your prayers, and we'll do our best to keep you informed in the coming days. Our plan is still to head to Alaska as soon as Noelle can travel, but we're just not sure when that will be so we'll be in Oregon at least a few more weeks. We are not totally out of the woods yet, Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincents. So please keep praying for her and we will do our best to keep you informed. Please feel free to write or call or if you are in the area to stop by we'd love to hear from you all. Also please continue to pray for little Noelle's levels. They had gone down to 7.4, but have risen back to 10.5 since being home. If they go higher than 12, Noelle will be re-admitted to St. Vincentes.

in Him for Him,
Marla and Micah

ps. for those interested, we've posted a short video on youtube that shows the umbilical cord being cut, and Samara's first interactions with her sister. Just go to youtube, and search for "Noelle Nicole Routon"
*******************************************Cliff notes below******************************************************************** ***************

-I talk about my pregnancy with Noelle and explain the details of the complications of being RH- and not getting the rhogam shot while in Brazil. Noelle's little body is fighting the antibodies she received from me by very producing high levels of red blood cells. As these red blood cells die off they release bilirubin which causes jaundice in babies. Noelle's levels of bilirubin were very abnormally high and that is why she was in the NICU and monitored so closely. She thankfully did not have to have the blood transfusion, as her body responded to a drug that helped her pass the bilirubin through her system. We are home now and she is on a Wallaby (or bili-light) 24 hours a day and we take her in every morning for a blood test to check her bilirubin levels. The past three days she has hovered between 9.1 and 10. We are not sure how long we'll have to continue this, could be days or it could be weeks.
- The name Noelle Nicole means "victorious day of birth" and we are thankful that she is here and that she will be fine. We look forward to seeing how God will continue to write a story of victory in her life.
-You can continue to pray...we are not totally out of the woods yet. Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincent's and the doctor will reconsider the blood transfusion.

Jan. 7, 2009 - Micah's 95 Theses

**************************Cliffnotes at post
bottom**************************************************

The Word of God is an amazing thing. Sometimes He uses His word to
encourage, sometimes he uses His word to guide and direct, and sometimes
He uses His word to chastise and discipline. But our response to His
word can also be an amazing thing. Sometimes we listen intently,
sometimes we don't understand, and sometimes we brush aside what we don't
like. It is to our own detriment if we don't clearly understand that
God's word is either 100% true it's not. It is much like the people who
say that Jesus Christ was a good man but not God Himself. The two
phrases are not coherent together. If you believe Jesus Christ was a
good man, how could you believe that He intentionally lied about who he
was to all of his believers when he told them that "the Father and I are
one?" No, no, no, if you believe that Jesus Christ was truly a good man,
you have to believe that his words were true, and that he was who he
claimed to be. Believing one, requires the other. In the same way, when
we believe that God took serious His words of warning or of discipline,
we will also believe that He took seriously His words of love and
encouragement. When we open the door to possible "clauses" or exceptions
to God's words of warning or discipline to us, we also consequently
weaken the power of His other words of comfort and grace. Either God's
word is 100% true, or it's not.

As you know, we've been back from Brazil for almost 4 months now. Our
transition back to American culture hasn't been without it's share of
bumps and bruises. And, it was often funny what things stuck out to us
as strange from this place we call home. Things like how quiet the city
streets are, and how awkward it feels to eat a whole meal with only a
fork. There were other things that were more serious as well, some of
which I have hesitated to share. Impressions and observations of aspects
of a culture which used to define my identity, now drive me crazy or make
me sad. Aspects of American Christianity, or perhaps only Northwest
Christianity, or perhaps Portland, Oregon-ish Christianity, or perhaps it
is only the typical "Christian" mentality that I have encountered in
various people I have met since being back. I have not written about
such things because I do not want to paint "the American Church" with
broad sweeping generalizations, and I do not want to pretend I am an
expert on something I am not. But more than that, I have not wanted to
share any negative impressions that I may have out of a growing respect
for the Church (big "C" here). It was not always so with me.

As one who had been wounded by churches in the past, I used to think it
my duty to speak out against them. But then a few years ago, I came to a
realization that changed all of this. The Bible calls the Church the
bride of Christ. And regardless of her current outward appearance, I
still believe that she is the future wife of Christ. And, I also know
that most fiancées don't take kindly to people talking smack about their
future wives. So right then and there, I decided that I had better keep
my mouth closed on the subject. But then last night, in the midst of a
restless night, I felt lead to share some of these impressions. Please
keep in mind that these impressions are not related to all believers or
even all churches....So here goes...

Put quite bluntly, I can't believe the extent that a worldly mind set has
entered the Church. Perhaps because we have historically been a
Christian nation, we as a nation have slowly been lulled to accept that
here in America, the world and the church aren't really two different
things. But they are. It seems increasingly harder and harder for
average Joe Christian to differentiate between biblical principles and
American values. "The pursuit of happiness," though guaranteed by our
constitution, is not a right defined by the Bible for every believer. In
contrast, Paul writes that "all that live godly in Christ Jesus will
suffer." "Liberty and justice for all" is also a great American concept
which is not in the Bible. Though God does promise his eventual justice,
when Jesus spoke of a foreign government forcing people to do something
(Matt 5:41) and walk one mile, he instructed his followers to walk two.
Something about that just feels wrong, but it's what the Bible says. "The
dignity of every man" and the "inherit goodness of each person" is a
concept that goes against what the Bible says in Psalms that "there is
none that do good, not one." And again in Romans 3:23 when Paul writes
for "all have sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God."

So what do we do when such contrasts become apparent between cultural
values and biblical principles? To which side are we drawn? To which
side do we commit ourselves? The bigger question that lies at the heart
of all of these questions, connecting them together: whom do we fear
more; man or God? A generation or two ago pastors and evangelists
preached of fire and brimstone. They spoke of coming judgement and
seemingly scared a lot of people into becoming Christians. Now it seems
that the pendulum has swung the other way. Grace, mercy and love is the
message that now seem to iminate from preaching pulpits and bumper
stickers. The media has also picked up on this, and when it does portray
God, it is usually portrays some nice guy dressed in white clothes
talking to Joe blow off of the street. And I love this accurate
depiction of Him: caring, good humored, never in a hurry and
approachable. But what do we do with those who in the Bible approached
God and died on the spot because they were not ready, or they were
unclean? As much as my heart wants to jump in Jesus's arms when I get to
heaven, I can't find a Biblical example of this happening. In most
heavenly depictions of people with God, they start either on their knees
or on their faces, not in His arms or talking causally. Hum? Through
songs, books or other media, popular Christianity today seems stuck like
a record on the grace and love song. Don't get me wrong, the grace of
God is profound and beyond comprehension, and I am so thankful and
unworthy of it. I don't want to take anything away from the love
relationship that God has with His people. The problem is that God is
full of grace and love while remaining righteous and holy. Our minds
can't quiet get around it. With Him, it is not one or the other. He is
both at the same time. One not diminishing the other, but enhancing the
other. Our minds can't quite grasp it so we naturally tend to gravitate
towards one extreme or the other. The "fire and brimstone" sermons of
two generations ago would seem quite out of place in most church
sanctuaries of today, yet there they belong. These sermons of yester
year describe God just as accurately as the intimate songs of worship
that we sing today. However, we don't hear these sermons anymore. We
choose to focus on the other "more appealing" aspects of God. And in
doing so, bit by bit, we lose our fear of the Most Holy. So, when it
comes to making those daily decisions, the fear that dominates us more
than the fear of God, is the fear of man. The result is that our
actions are motivated more to satisfy, please and impress our neighbors,
our friends, or our families than God. "God is good, all the time" is
what is said in our churches, but the other side of this way of thinking
is "so I'll just ask His forgiveness after I sin." Our fear of God is
faltering. When was the last time you heard your pastor stand up and say
"be ye perfect," as the crowd responds back "as I am perfect." Our fear
of God is faltering, and our behavior reflects it. The Bible calls the
fear of God the beginning of wisdom. So, in an age when knowledge
abounds, it would seem that with the fear of God true wisdom is
disappearing. And, our families, our churches and our nation are
beginning to reflect this.

In our effort to please people, it seems that too often our modern
churches try to morph biblically solid doctrine into what they perceive
people want hear. In an effort to attract more people, modern American
Christianity can easily be seen imitating the world. If something is hot
in the secular world, it seems only a matter of time before the
evangelical world will have their version of it. If you don't believe me
just go into a store that commercializes Christian faith. From Christian
boy bands to Christian video games, one doesn't have to look far in the
evangelical world to see the truth in this "chasing after" mentality.

We follow the crowds hoping that they'll come to our churches, believing
in our hearts that our churches being full will validate God's approval
of what we are doing in His name. Yet, this mentality that is so evident
in the church of today, seems to ignore the fact that Jesus said in Matt.
7:14 "narrow is the way which leads to life and few find it." We somehow
believe that these statements were not made for us or for our churches.
We desperately hope that Jesus was talking about other countries, other
churches, other people or other times., but not for us... not for today.


So we try to be selective on what we preach, selective on what we teach,
selective on what we say We use words that are politically correct so as
to not offend people and risk them not coming back to our congregations.
We accept them as they are, as Christ did, but then we water down His
truth so they are not changed. And when His truth has been watered
down... we ourselves are not forced to change. We are not forced to
choose between our old life where we had "freedom" to sin, and our new
life where we are called to be "slaves" to Christ. And without this
"coming of age" experience (putting off our old selves and putting on
Christ), though we may well know the binding slavery that is inherent
when we act "free to sin", we will never experience how being slaves of
Christ and dying to self actually ushers in life in abundance. We miss
out.

In our chasing after, in our watering down of God's word, we are salt
that is loosing it's saltiness. We become, as Jesus Himself said, good
for nothing. I realize these are harsh words, but sometimes we forget
that in the Gospels Jesus often taught with harsh words. Why did Jesus
make more references to hell than he did to heaven during His earthly
ministry? Why did Jesus not refrain from using fear to motivate?
Because He knew that fear can be a great motivator. Even writing that
last sentence seemed a little sacrilegious to my flesh. Scare people to
living correctly? Is that right? God is so good, and a Holy life has so
many benefits of it's own, so why not attract people to that goodness.
Because we as humans have a tendency to be lazy, and react only to that
which we see as most pressing. Think about it. We all know we SHOULD
eat a balanced diet and get exercise, but by and large, it is not until
we hear from the doctor that we are inches away from a heart attack that
we REALLY begin to change our behavior. Human nature tends to react most
to that which is screaming for attention; and fear screams for attention.
This is understood outside of the spiritual realm. Advertisers
capitalize on this concept to sell their products. And in fact there is
a level of fear that is healthy. Fear of getting hurt keeps us from
touching hot stoves, or jumping the fence at the zoo to go and pet the
pretty lions. We believe in having fire codes, immunizations, and
insurance policies because of the fear that things could go wrong. And,
indeed, it would be most unwise to opt out of these things because things
do, in fact, go wrong. So why does it feel so sacrilegious these days to
talk about fear and God? Have we embraced too readily our interpretation
of the "there is no fear in love" verse, and discarded all the verses
that talk of the benefits of fearing God. Has our generation built it's
theology so firmly around "God is love" that we have no room for "God is
just?" Do we intellectually plug our ears to God's warnings by
explaining away why His unsavory words don't apply to us? Look at our
churches, and look what is becoming normal. Our lines are becoming
grayed, because we fear what others may think or say about us more than
we fear God.

The result is that we live in confusion, neither hot or cold. It makes
me sad. Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. I'm not saying we
should be brutal with the truth, beating people with "what the bible
says." This e-mail is not written for nonbelievers. This e-mail is
written for us who believe in Jesus, and is focused on how we deal with
God's word, AND His holiness. What our attitude is when we are corrected
or chastised? Education is a choice. Two different people may face
identical situations, one may choose to learn from it, and the other may
not. Do we allow ourselves to be taught? When God's Word says something
that we don't want to agree with, what is our attitude? Do we have to be
right at all costs? Do we realize that God is God and we are not? Do we
demand that He prove something to us. As my pastor used to say "do we
judge the scriptures or do we let the scriptures judge us?" It's a
reaction or attitude that boils down to a simple matter of fear. And,
our lives will, for eternity, reflect the answer to this simple question:
'whom do we fear most?'

in Him, for Him
Micah and Marla

ps. The attatched pictures are some pictures we took of Marla's
pregancy. Thank you for your prayers for this pregnancy, so the weekly
untrasounds haven't shown any anemia. 10 weeks to go!

**********************Cliffnotes: Micah's 95
Theses**************************************************
In this e-mail I fel led to share some impressions that I have had about
American Christianity since returning from Brazil. I think that what
lies at the root of many of the problems that we expirience in today's
American Church is that we, as a people have lost our fear of God. For a
generation or so, we have been focusing so much on God's attributes of
love and mercy, we have largely ignored His holiness and justice. And the
results of this mentality are staggering.
*************************************************************************
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Dec. 1, 2008 - Walking in the Dark

*****No Cliffnotes: Micah writting about walking by faith, even when it doesn't make sense******

It's been a real answer to many prayers that Marla and I have been able to remain in God's peace these past couple of months, and for those prayers we thank all of you. It's not that times have been particularly hard for us, there are just a lot of unknowns in front of us. We are facing a lot of things that we cannot control, and the way things play out will greatly effect our lives. Not our lives "down the road sometime," theoretically, but immediately. We know this peace that engulfs us is an answer to prayer from God and not just willfully pushing out of our consciousness the questions that we don't have answers for. Because each time someone asks us "so what's next for you guys?" we are faced once again with the uncertainty of these days; we are faced once again with these questions that don't yet have answers, and we are not scared. We are not anxious. We know how we would like things to go, we have our ideas, our goals. Things like:
We will be funded by June of 2009, we will be returning to Brazil in July of 2009, we will work at starting a new church when we arrive, we will be successful. Other things like Noel will be born without problems in February here in Portland, she will be ready to travel by March and we will live in Alaska from March to June. For each one of these plans that I have just mentioned, there are about 1 million "what ifs" that could lead us in different directions. What if Noel isn't born healthy? What if she has a sever complication? What if she'll never be able to live in a place without the most modern medical facilities? What if Noel is not granted her Brazilian visa? What if we can't get back into the Brazil? What if we can't raise the support we need because of the economic situation? There is literally no end to such questions, and no limit to how many times they can run through our heads if we would but agree to entertain them. But God's Word is good, and He has confirmed so many times to me lately just to continue to trust our future to Him.

The first time was when I started to worry, God brought to mind in the 14th chapter of John. In the text, Jesus had just predicted his own death and the desertion of all of the disciples, and then He encourages them with these words: "Do not LET your hearts be troubled, trust in God. Trust also in me." The words "DO NOT LET," in particular stood out to me. This is not a passive verb, but an active verb. It would seem, from the text, that our hearts natural tendency is to be troubled. We are to actively "not let" it be so. And all of this is done, according to the text, by trust. Trusting God, and trusting Christ.

A few weeks ago in my morning devotions, God spoke to me again as I was reading through the book of Isaiah in my Portuguese Bible. In verse 16 of chapter 28, my version reads "Quem tem fé, não tem medo." Which translated means: "Who has faith, does not have fear." So it would seem from this verse, that the degree of peace that we have in our lives corresponds to the degree that we believe that Romans 8:28 "that all things work together for good to them that love God."

Then, more recently, reading on in Isaiah again I came across a very interesting verse that I had never seen before (or at least had never stuck out to me before in the whole area of faith for the future) And this verse was the doozie. Isaiah 50:10-11 reads: "Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God. Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow."

As I read this verse, I noticed two groups of people who were in the same situation. Both groups were in the dark, and both groups were walking. It might even be argued that both groups were in the dark BECAUSE they had obeyed the voice of God's servant. But the first continued walk even though he couldn't see, because he trusted God. And the others tried to "keep walking" on their own terms. They had to understand the darkness, they had to "see" what they were passing though, they had to know what lay ahead before they could take another step. Of the two groups, the second group was more informed, they were better prepared, and yet it was they who ended in sorrow. It would seem that both groups were doing the will of God (obeying the voice of God's servant and walking) but the second group did it on their own terms. And in the end, they ended in sorrow. There are all kinds of Biblical examples of this. Abraham jumps to mind. He was a guy who trusted God for most of his life with huge decisions. He walked in the dark without a light for so long. But when he tried to light his own torch (to make God's promise of a son happen on his terms), he ended up sorry for that decision. Moses also comes to mind. He was a man that saw the oppression of his people, and as a prince of Egypt tried to do something about it on his own terms in his own timing, only to be expelled to 40 years of tending sheep before God was ready to use him. These were men of faith. These were people God greatly used. They were called by God and responded to his voice. But what did they do when they entered the darkness (perhaps for the thousandth time)? Did they continue to walk in their calling even though they didn't have the answers? Or, when it became dark, or they became tired of the darkness did they "take inventory of the situation" first, and do what was prudent? Did they do what made sense? And then I remember that often history judges men far different than how God judges men.

So as these days grow dark economically, perhaps politically. As those of us trying to follow God hear of wars, and rumors of wars, what is our response? Do we make a plan, do we make our own provisions, or do we keep walking though we don't know what is around the corner, trusting God to sustain us. One choice make sense to the world, and one does not. So Marla and I choose to walk on in darkness, encouraged by the power of your prayers and encouraged by comfort of God's word. Not because we can see the future, but because we can remember God's faithfulness to us in the past. And because we trust in His goodness.

Thank you for your prayers,
in Him, for Him,
Micah and Marla

Oct. 18, 200? - Gone with the Wind

********************************Cliff Notes at Page
Bottom*******************************************************************
*******


I guess it probably hits everyone. Those grey days of discouragement.
The days that you ignor the big questions, the hard questions, for fear
that they have no positive answers. The days that you feel
underappriciated and over worked. The days when you question if it is
really worth it. If there isn't an easier way, an excape. For me, these
days had been brewing for a couple of weeks. I think it was the
combination of a few projects that didn't turn out as I had expected
they'd turn out, and people who didn't act (or react) as I had been
expecting. There had been so few pats on the backs or encouraging words.
What was worse, when those words of recognition were being given to all
of my peers, somehow my name was not even mentioned. As weather had
turned dramatically colder, bringing with it rain and a sickness that had
attacked the three of us. I guess the combined effects of all of this
left my resistance down. My physical resistance as well as my emotional
resistance. And I found my self complaining. First to Marla, and then
to God.

"Lord, there has got to be an easier way to live. Living far from our
family, and the things that we like to do. The falling value of the
dollar, the rising costs of living here, the slowing economy in the
States, how can we raise the support need to return? Is there really any
value in us being here anyway? What does the future hold?"

The following morning as I continued reading through the book of Nehemiah
chapter 6 really spoke to me. Nehemiah who was following the will of
God. He was teaching the people of Isreal to truely become the people of
God. And yet in the middle of all of his good work, there were three
powerfull guys who opposed that which he was doing. In verse 13 he
writes: "He had been hired to scare me so that I would commit a sin."
And I began to think of the cases when big descicion are made in the
middle of a storm, and how often those descision lead us down the wrong
path, and lead us contrary to the will of God.

In my questioning and complaining I hadn't question if we were where God
wanted us to be. I hadn't question if we were doing what God has wanted
us to be doing. He has confirmed this in so many ways, for so long now.
But I questioned His reasons, I questioned His results (at least those we
can see after only 2 years here). I questioned his purpose, and I began
to doubt His resourses and His provision. Somehow thinking that if God
would answer these questions, I would be satisfied. Thinking that those
answers would provide the energy, the fuel, I needed to keep going. This
one-sided conversation I was having with God ended in the middle of the
night when He responded with the same words that Jesus spoke in John 4:34
"My food is to do the will of the One that sent me, and completing His
work." Through these verses it becomes clear that Jesus's energy, that
Jesus's fuel was found in the knowledge, in the conviction, that He was
where God wanted Him to be.

Is this knowledge, the knowing I am doing what God has for me to do,
enough to sustain me? Enough to give me strenght, enough to give me
force? In humility, I once again realized how far I have to go in my
growing into the like-ness of Christ. If I am to be like Christ, that
knowledge, that conviction, alone has to be enough to sustain me. It has
to be enough to uphold me. It has to be at the root of my strenght.
When discouragement come like a storm, it is this conviction that should
anchor me. Just as storms pass, discouragement will not last forever.
And when it passes, when the wind stops, I want us to still want to be
found in the middle of His plans for us.


And now a little bit from Marla...

Climbing onto a chair so I could reach the back of the tall
cupboard above the
bed in our little guest room, I found our long unused and almost
forgotten bag of socks, sweaters and jackets. Winter arrived this month
in Londrina, brazil and we are just absolutely freezing to death at 60
degrees. We’ve really begun to wonder how in the world we are going to
survive even summer time in Alaska! Bring on the wool socks and long
johns.

While we were hoping to be putting on those wool socks some time
soon we are still waiting for my permanent visa to be granted. The
government internet site where you are supposed to be able to check the
process has been down for several months. This means that each time we
want to check the process we go to the federal police here in Londrina
and have them access it for us. Last time they reported that it was
approved by the first desk and onto waiting for approval from desk number
two. The good news is that there are only two desks! So we continue to
wait and to trust God that He has a plan and that His timing in all of
this is perfect. Our plan is basically to get plane tickets to the
states as soon as my visa has been granted. We are looking forward to a
fundraising trip lasting somewhere between six months and a year. With
the falling value of the dollar and the addition of Samara to the family
our support account is getting closer and closer to the red each month,
and is urgently needing more funds. We’d love to be making some concrete
plans, you know setting up speaking at churches and visiting many of you,
but as of now we have no idea of any dates. So we continue to wait and
trust and pray that we are faithful to BE where God has us. We sure
appreciate your prayers that God would raise up financial supporters and
also in asking that my visa be granted SOON. I know that our parents
appreciate those prayers as well as they just can hardly wait to get
their arms around Samara.

Samara is 13 months old now, and we are astounded at how fast the
time has gone by. She is a very fun and busy little girl who loves music
and to be outdoors. Her first two words are both in Portuguese (other
than Mommy/Mãe) She says “ow wow” for dog and “bala” for ball. She loves
to go for walks and see the dogs on the street and she is a big fan of
watching her Daddy play soccer too. These days she is really into
playing with refrigerator magnets moving them between the fridge and
another metal cabinet in the kitchen, back and forth, back and forth.
She also has discovered the fun of “dressing up.” She’ll come out of her
room with a pair of pants on her head and carrying one of my shoes that
she wants to put on. Just pinning a dish towel around her shoulders will
entertain her for minutes on end. One of my favorite new things is to
pull a chair up to the counter and have Samara “help” me in the kitchen.
She is quite a little assistant we have lots of fun “working” together.
She truly is a delight and a joy. We are so blessed and thank God for
every day that we get to be her parents.

May 1st was a holiday here and our church and mother church had an
evangelistic retreat for the day at Camp Shalom. The idea of the retreat
was for the church members to invite friends, relatives, co-workers,
neighbors…who do not know Jesus. The morning was spent in a time of
worship, a short message and then small discussion groups, and ended with
worship and an invitation to accept Jesus as your personal savior..
Micah had invited the guys from the neighborhood that he plays soccer
with and six of them came. One of them accepted Christ at this retreat!
I spent the morning time with the 56 kids under age eleven that were
there. We sang songs, told the salvation message using a watermelon as
an example of our lives (black seeds=sin, red pulp=our heart…) Next we
divided the kids by age group and made salvation bracelets. Then it was
time for outdoor games like “red light- green light” and “sharks and
minnows” I was leading the group of four to six year olds and it was so
cute to watch them later as they met up with their parents for lunch to
see them explaining the significance of each color in their new bracelet.
We all had our picnic lunches and then the afternoon was free to hang
out, swim and play soccer. Micah is super excited that these “soccer
guys” are starting to respond to Jesus and asks for wisdom as he spends
time with them both on and off the soccer court.

Something that we hear again and again here is the difficulty that
parents are having raising their kids. They just have no idea what to do,
how to discipline, what types of consequences are appropriate etc. Micah
has been teaching a class on The Family and many people who signed up
were looking for help with parenting, but the class is more about how to
have a healthy marriage. So I was asked to teach a parenting workshop.
Yeah, me with my whole 1 year of experience!! So I went to some experts
for some help… I have a Love and Logic book that I’d let my friend Linda
borrow and she was so excited about the concepts and how much they were
helping with her son that she was just going on and on and on. So, a few
Saturday’s ago I gave a “Love and Logic” workshop for parents or anyone
who was interested. About 25 people came and I did my best to condense
the principles and strategies into about an hour and a half. The goal was
for people to go home that evening with tools in their parenting bag to
help them immediately, practical things that they could implement. Many
of the people who were at the workshop have expressed how great they
thought the material was and how it has helped them to start thinking in
a different way, to not loose control and to have hope again that
parenting can be fun. So yeah, for Love and Logic!


As I said Micah has been teaching a class on The Family that has been
both challenging and fun for him. He is discovering that teaching is lots
of hard work and prep, but also very rewarding. About a month ago Micah
went to a week long training where he learned how to start evangelistic
Bible studies in homes. So now he and Diogo are teaching some leaders
from our church as well as our mother church these concepts and
strategies with the hope of beginning some of these Bible studies for
non-believers in our neighborhoods.


As always we are ever thankful for your faithful prayers and support. We
know that God is using each one of you in a specific and special way in
the work He is doing here in Brazil. Knowing that you are praying really
encourages our hearts and at times helps us keep our heads above water.
And other times we are bursting with joy because we know that your
prayers are helping to open doors for people to know Jesus and that is SO
AWESOME. So thank you for letting God use you to not only bless us but
to be a part of bringing Brazilians into His kingdom. You are appreciated
and we also love to know how we can pray for you so please email us with
what is up in your lives, families, jobs, hearts and ministries. We pray
that God shows you today just how much He delights in you and also we
pray that we’ll be sharing lunch or a cup of coffee with you in person
sometime soon, and yes those will be long johns you see peeking out from
under our jeans.

If you are interested we have posted some videos of Samara on YouTube...
http://www.youtube.com/routon27

********************************Cliff
Notes********************************************************************

-Micah started the email complaining to God. "why are things hard?"
"Isn't there an easier way?" Then in the middle of the night God reminded
Micah of the scripture where Jesus says "My food is to do the will of Him
who sent me." (I guess that's what is called Christain perspective)
-Still waiting for Marla's permanant visa before we can make plans for a
much needed fundraising trip to the States
-May 1st was an evangelistic retreat where one of Micah's "soccer guys"
accepted Christ.
-Samara is wonderful and fun and a total delight
-Marla taught a "Love and Logic" workshop for parents that went well and
seems to be having some positive results
-Micah is helping train leaders to begin a new evangelistic Bible study
ministry
-We are SO thankful for YOU

Aug. 8, 2008 - 150% Person

*************************************Cliffnotes Available at page bottom********************************************

So what is a 150% person? It's really no mystery if you've been to OMS's new missionary training in the last 5 years. It's a term that was created to capture the idea of becoming part of another culture. Not just a spectator, but a participant. You have to voluntarily let go of some of your own cultural identity, in order to embrace and personify the new culture in which you are a foreigner And as you do so, little by little you become less a foreigner You become more trusted, you become relatable, you become more intimate with those whom you came to serve. It is no easy process to choose to let slip away parts of your own cultural identity, in order to assimilate another. But when all is said and done, is there another way? Missionaries have been doing this for generations. The apostle Paul said it best when he said in 1 Corinthians 9:22 "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some of them." You've seen old faded pictures of these types of missionaries. He was the tall white guy in the black-and-white picture dressed like the Japanese that surrounded him. Perhaps you even remember them passing through your church. The mission Sundays when he'd come with his slide reels. The lights would dim, and the stories would begin. Stories of the lives of these strange faces that seemed to look back at you from the screen. Strange faces, strange names, strange customs. At least, strange to us....but not to him. He knew them all. And though he was here with us that day, much of his heart was still in another country . Sure he was dressed like us, and he looked like us, but he was a man divided, you could tell just by looking. Belonging fully neither here or there. A man without a home. And this is the price of becoming a 150% person.

Ironically, this was particularly the price that I did not want to pay when I started in missions over 8 years ago. I guess that is at least part of the reason why short-term missions was so appealing to me initially. I thought I could zip in, see a culture, experience different things, and zip out. Gain an experience, but not have to change, not have to pay that price; not have to loose a piece of who I was, not have become that man divided. Then, I lived in a different culture where I saw the necessity of becoming a 150% person. I figured I could adapt, I could change....but this change would only have to be a temporary change. Like the 007 in the movies, I figured that when I boarded the international flight that would bring me back to the US, I could turn it off, I could come back whole. I would not have to leave a part of my heart in a different land. But as the reality of leaving Brazil for a while, and Londrina for good, came upon us a little over 2 weeks ago, I have found that I'm having a much harder time packing, a much harder time leaving than I had hoped. And through this time of packing, this division is only becoming more and more apparent.

It is the anticipation and experience of sadness and excitement at the same time. Excitement to get to the US, to see friends and family, the eat a good burger, to watch Samara play with her grandparents, to watch a sunset on the Oregon coast. And yet the sadness of saying goodbye. The friends God has blessed us with here, the memories of so many first with Samara, the church we have invested in so much. It's the excitement of being home for Christmas surrounded by family combined the sadness of knowing to do such, we'll miss the wedding of a good friend, and the births of two of our friends babies. It's the phone calls from our parents preparing their house for their grandchild, and the meals with good friends passed in awkward silence because everybody knows that we'll not be able to hang out again. Then there are also so many of those little things that have only become sentimental when we've realized that we may never experience them again. The pack of friendly neighborhood dogs that roam the streets at will, or the kids playing in the streets that Samara loves so much The washing our sidewalks, the clapping at people's gates, or the awkward teenage boy that always comes and yells for me right after we put Samara down for her afternoon nap. It's bittersweet.

With each picture that is taken off the wall, with each box packed, this bitter-sweetness intensifies. I guess we can be thankful for the to-do lists that we have to work though each day, and for the business of preparation that temporarily takes our minds off of things. But these thoughts are always there, not far off. Easily triggered. In fact I debated for a while even writing this e-mail, but when we started this journey nearly 4 years ago, I made a commitment to remain as transparent as I could in these e-mails. And this bitter-sweetness is part of this journey. I imagine it will become a familiar part.

And yet, when I stop to think of all of these emotions, they are not something I want shielded from. For in experiencing them, it become becomes increasingly evident the extent of our investment here. And the tears that we see in others eyes only serve to show how warmly and readily hearts here in this community received us. I also would not desire any shade of pity from anybody in this process. Though it is hard, it only serves to remind me in a real way that this world, neither Brazil or the US, is my home. And my heart will never be fully satisfied until we are all in that place which our Father is preparing for us. And when we all do get there.... I have some friends I'd like to introduce you all to.

Prayer requests:
-Health as we travel. Marla's pregnancy has left her very tired lately
-Transition for all of us, especially for Samara.
-The church family here, as they were told just last week that we will likely not be returning to work there
-For our time of support raising in the state, that God will raise up new partners to join us in prayer and financial support.

Thanks for being a part of this,
Micah and Marla

ps. The first picture is of Samara helping us pack. And the second is of our worship team praying before our Sunday service

******************Cliffnotes: 150% Person************************************************
This e-mail touches on some of the difficulty assosiated with living in two different cultures. Obviously these seem to surface more in times of tansition. And it makes sense

July 28, 2008, - 1,2,3 Ready, Set, Go

******No Cliffnotes. Micah writing about 3 peices of exciting news*********

1,2,3 ready, set, go? What kind of title is that? Well it just so
happens that today we are writing with three pieces of information that
you all might find interesting.

#1. Our trip to Criciuma. In our last e-mail we had written requesting
prayer concerning an upcoming visit to a city about 16 hours south of
here. The purpose of this trip was to survey the work that had began
there about 6 months ago. To get a feel for it, and discuss the
possibility of us working there when we come back. Well, it was a very
different city than Londrina. It is less than one third of the size with
about 180,000 inhabitants. It has a more European feel to it than most
places that we have visited in Brazil. The streets are cleaner, the
parks better maintained. Industrially, it is more developed, and
unemployment isn't much of a problem. Most people have jobs, and in fact
most people drive cars. The people in general are more closed, and a bit
colder than what we have found in Londrina. We drove through many, many
neighborhoods of the city and didn't find people hanging out in front of
their gates talking with their neighbors. Evangelistically, the people
in the south, particularly in this state, have been harder to reach with
the Gospel, a bit more resistant. The work that was started there was
started by a young pastor and his wife who were sent their by the
denomination. They have started 1 Bible study that meets in their home,
and were very excited at the possibility of having us come and help.

Are we excited about Criciuma? Well to be honest, going to Criciuma
(Christy) means leaving our work here. We have loved our church, we have
loved our neighborhood, we have loved our pastor. And going to Criciuma,
or any other city for that matter, means leaving this which we have come
to love. But we also realize that the time has come to expand, and we
make this decision in faith and obedience. Excited? Sure, we liked the
city. It is closer to the beach (30 minutes), and hiking and camping, but
our heart is divided. But we look forward to what God has for us there,
and to what He will do.

#2. Marla's Visa Came!!! The 18th of July, nearly one year after Marla
originally started the process of applying for a permanent visa, and
after one rejection, her permanent visa has finally been granted. This
means that we can come and go into and out of Brazil at will for the next
9 years!!. Thank you for your prayers. Through the whole process we
have felt a supernatural peace knowing that in God's perfect timing the
visa would be granted. As you know we had been expecting to be back in
the States in April, but have been delayed. We can see that God was
keeping us here so that we could be involved in decisions like going to
Criciuma, and have an influence on the future direction of OMS here in
Brazil. The extended time here also has enabled Marla and I to better
train those leaders who will be taking our places, and to better prepare
the church for our exit. So we are now in the middle of looking for
plane tickets to the States and getting ready to pack up our house and
say our goodbyes.

#3. We are pregnant again! Marla is about 11 weeks along, and the baby's
due date is February 19th (one day after my birthday) We're excited
about the addtion of another little one to the family. Marla has not been
feeling very well and is hoping that as the end of the 1st trimester
arrives that the nausea and tiredness will begin to fade. We're not sure
where we will be when this baby is born but Marla is not against giving
birth in an American hospital this time. So we're just trusting God with
all the details and praying for a healthy little one.

Prayer requests are for all the details surrounding our move. That we'd
find good ticket prices, that we could get and pack boxes, for good
health etc.

Thanks for your partnership,
Micah, Marla and Samara

ps. the pictures should be self explanitory. Fabio and Silvia are the
couple in Criciuma

July 1, 2008 - When and Where

***********No Clifnotes. Micah riting about future assignment possibilities*******

As I opened my eyes last night between worship songs, from my perspective point up on the stage with the rest of the worship team, I could see people filtering in. There were many new faces, and yet many familiar faces were missing. Extra chairs had to be brought in from the back to aaccommodate The next song started, the eyes closed once again. Amongthe new faces were some of guys that I have been playing soccer with for the past year and a half. One whom had come to some of the youth events, but never to a Sunday service. As we came off the stage, Diogo started to preach. The message was one of those that seemed to fit perfectly with where the church is currently. A church with many new faces, and with many familiar. A church starting to realize it's potential, and believe. And that beliefis on many levels. For some, it is believing that there is a God, who sent His son, that they might live. For some it is believing that God will see them through their times of need, their dark hour. For some, it is the expectant beliefof a miracle. the same type of bbeliefthat preceded many of Jesus's miracles of the four Gospels. For others, the belief that God is about to use this church greatly in this neighborhood, and that their contribution here, today has eternal consequences. And for me, the belief that God knows exactly what He is doing, and the work that we helped to start here, will continue long after we leave.

"After we leave." It's never been a question of "if" we'd leave, but "when." And when I'm talking leave, I'm not thinking of a temporary absence. Simply a ministry that is interrupted here and there by furloughs and trips back to the United States. But rather 'leave' referring to when we to let stand on it's own, that which we have had the privilege to help to start. Leave for good. It's been in the back of our mind since the day we arrived. Our departure has strategically been part of the plan since day one. The question was simply when. And that answer is increasingly becoming clear.

Clear when I look from the stage at the head of Marlon bowed in prayer. Clear as Wesley leads worship from his keyboard behind me in a spirit of humility and dedication. Clear when I see where Rosiane has come from and the person that she is growing into. Clear when I see Andressa pray. These have been the people that I have most invested myself in these past few years. And it has been an honor to watch them mature personally and spiritually. To watch this God of the Bible step out of the pages of a book, and show Himself real and trustworthy in their lives. To watch them trust themselves to His plans. It has been an honor. But with this honor has come another question. One that has been increasingly calling attention. Is this still the best use of Marla and I? Or is there somewhere else that has a greater need?

These questions have little to do with our feelings, or a lack of love for the people we serve. We love where we are at. We love the people, we love the church, we love the neighborhood. Here we have created a home. Here we have people we can trust Samara with. People who stand in line for the chance to baby sit her. When we go to our little grocery store, the clerk takes her in her arms to play with her as we do our shopping (and is even mad at me when I leave her at home). The guy in the fruit and vegetable store, the lady that sells meat shiskabobs, the guys at the corner everything store, they all love her, and ask about her. I love my soccer ministry. The guys that I have gotten to know. So many times we pass these groups of guys all huddled together in the dark of the night when they turn around and say "Oi Micah, todo bom." I have to look at just about every guy on the street between the age of 8 and 30 just to make sure I don't know him. Because I don't want insult those whom I do know, by not saying hello. We love it here. We are comfortable here. The questions mentioned above don't have to do with feelings, we are dealing with strategy. When? Where?

These questions of 'when' and 'where' are not ours alone. In a real sense, they are very related to the mission in general here in Brazil. When OMS arrived here in Brazil over 50 years ago, they started with a fourfold strategy.
1. Evangelize the people
2. Put together those evangelized people in churches
3. Train Brazilians to lead those churches (this includes theological education: aka a seminary)
4. Partner with those Brazilian churches and church leaders to do new works

And to a large extent, God has blessed OMS greatly in accomplishing the first three here in Londrina. People have been evangelized. Churches have been started. We have 7 churches in this city alone. Under it's own strong leadership the Brazilian denomination that OMS started is starting to do well. The seminary continues to produce quality pastors. While all these good things are happening it is important to note that, there is still a need for evangelism here, still a need for more church bodies, still a need for a greater number of trained leaders. But the question we as a mission have been facing here lately is, are there places with greater needs here in Brazil. And the answer to that is overwhelmingly YES.

I think that it is coming time that we start concentrating more on the fourth part of our strategy...partnership. A week ago Marla and I had a meeting with the president of the denomination together with his wife. And we asked them to help us with the decisions of "when" and "where." To decide together where could the denomination best use our missionary family to help to accomplish the expansion that it desires. The vision to see more people won to Christ, and new churches planted in less evangelized areas. Two possibilities were discussed. And in a few hours Marla, Samara and I will start a 16 hour bus journey to investigate more in depth one of those two possibilities.

The name of the city is Criciúma, and it is in the state of Santa Catarina where we currently have no churches at all. There is already a Brazilian couple that has started this pioneering work there about 6 months ago. We'll be visiting them, asking questions, getting to know them as well as the city and the work that they have started. All with the likelihood that we could be returning there to work next year. We would ask for your prayers as we go. That we'd ask the right questions, and that God would speak to us, laying clearly before us the path that we are to walk. Also please pray for little Samara as we go. We think she starting to get another couple of teeth, and has already started the cold that usually accompanies these new little white presents.

March 28, 2008 - March Update

***************************Cliffnotes available at post bottom*************************************************

It seems like a long time ago that we were waiting in Oregon for our visas to come so that we could come to Brazil. And now, after so many experiences (moving to a different hemisphere, learning a new language, learning what it means to start a church, having a baby..just to name a few) we sit at the other end of the spectrum. Waiting in Brazil for a visa to come so that we can go home. No, it's not that US immigration policy has clamped down so much that they won't allow us back in the country, it is that we are waiting for Marla to be granted her permanent visa (green card) from Brasilia, so that after leaving Brazil, we'll be able to get back in; hassle free! But I will say that the waiting is getting easier. Looking back at each of the other times that we have been delayed, we've been able to see God's hand behind it. So this time, we have confidence that when God is ready for us to leave Brazil, we'll have our visas; and until then we won't. It doesn't make making long range plans easier let me tell you, but it does take the stress of the "what ifs" out. I guess this growing confidence that God will take care of us, in one sense, could be linked to a faith that is at least starting to mature. I remember that before I started this journey with OMS almost 8 years ago, I really didn't really feel like being involved in missions, either short or long term. I mean don't get me wrong, I liked the idea of an adventure, and I liked the idea of traveling and seeing other places, but lets face it, in my experiences...missionaries were weird. Those missionaries that came to our churches, came and showed slides of themselves in some strange place, standing in the middle of strange people, looking and even feeling comfortable in their midst. But when they came back to their "home" they stood before our churches looking a little lost. Usually their clothes were a bit out of style or they didn't know many people at the church. Most times they had that "fish out of water" look about them. Short term missions sounded great to me, at least at the start. The travel, the adventure....all without having to loose your own cultural identity as the "long-termers" had. But then I went on a couple one week mission trips to Mexico. The trips were great, a definite spiritual highlight. Our group bonded, we sang songs, we sought the Lord, our points of- views were changed. But when we returned, real life set in. And for me, it became too easy to compartmentalize that experience from the rest of my life. Sure the trip was a great experience, but it did little to change my daily life, and I felt guilty for that lack of change. I didn't want to develop a compartmentalized Christianity. If I were to be changed, I wanted to be changed for good. So there I was 8 years ago, not wanting to loose my cultural identity as many of the long-termers had, and not wanting to compartmentalize my spiritual walk as I had already done, being "available" to God. Since then, I can see that God sure has a sense of humor calling me into long term missions through a series of short term experiences. Those things that seemed so important then have started to be replaced with a new set of priorities. I'll never forget a question that was asked of us new missionary candidates during my first training session in July of 2000. The trainer asked the group of us "why are you involved in missions." He patiently listened to all of the answerers that each person gave, and then he said "you are all wrong." He said, "The reason that you are involved in missions is because God wants to do something in your life, and the only way he can do it is through this mission experience." In my mind there is no such thing as "a high calling" professionally. Being a preacher, a missionary or an evangelist gives no one more spiritual weight than anybody else. The central issue isn't to what you have been called, the issue is being faithful to that calling. If God has called you to be a great teacher, than do that to the glory of God. If it is to paint, to fight fires, to drive a bus, to be a great father...do it for the glory of God. The issue is being faithful to that to which you have been called. And then through that step of faithfulness God can do something in you that He could do no other way. God has been using this missionary experience to change the priorities in my life. And as these priorities in my life have started to shift and align more to what God wants for me, my peace, confidence, and excitement for what God has, has started to become more of a constant in my life.

I was in a worship service the other day just praising God for what He has done in our lives, feeling truly honored and blessed to be here. Feeling lucky to be doing what I get to be doing. Feeling the joy of the Lord. It is this joy that the Bible says is to be our strength. Then it hit me, that this joy that I was feeling wasn't because of a certain situation. In fact many of the situations in my life have started to become more and more complicated. There is more and more responsibility. More problems, tough problems...and yet, I am not as burdened by those problems as I used to be. There is an emerging trust. A trust based on what God has already done. And because of that trust, I can become excited about what the future holds without knowing in advance what the details of that future are. I look into the future and for the first time in my life can see something that resembles a long term plan starting to emerge. There are many details that need to be arranged first before I go into it, but for the first time in my life, I don't have a big question mark when people ask what I want to be doing in the next ten to fifteen years. And I gotta say, looking dimly into that future, I'm pretty excited to get to be a part of what God is going to do.

So anyway, what have we been doing lately? It sure seems like a long time since we last wrote. So I'll try to cover a lot of ground quick. In the end of January, our pastor Diogo was married and took about a month of vacation time for his honeymoon, and to adjust to married life. During his absence my responsibilities with the church grew. I was asked to preach (this time without a translator), and fill in various roles. Since Diogo has returned we have been doing some pretty massive restructuring of ministries within the church. Because of the restructuring, I'll start preaching more, and start teaching a type of adult Sunday school class. I have also began to sing on the worship team (something I really never pictured myself doing). My responsibilities within OMS have also been increasing. Marla and I have volunteered for the job of orientation for new missionaries. A family of 5 arrived about a month ago, and we have been pretty busy orientating and supervising their work / language school / housing search / car search / and basically just getting adjusted. There have been a few other interpersonal issues that have been brought up these last few weeks, that God has really used to make us missionaries more of a family. It wasn't easy or fun, but the end result was good. Since we last wrote, Marla's involvement at church has also increased. She continues to direct the Sunday school program (about 7 rotating teachers and 25 kids), but the curriculum has changed. This new curriculum has been great for the kids, but has added a huge challenge. Marla and I also shared at our first mission conference a week and a half ago. The church we shared at was packed, and we were the opening speakers. We used the time to show pictures of some of our other trips, and tell stories. We finished our time up front with a challenge to become more involved in world missions. After the service, we both went into a large class room to talk more informally to anybody who was interested. There were about 20 people who stayed after for a question and answer time. It was greatly encouraging to us. Missions or ministry outside of the context of the local church is an idea that is talked about little and promoted little in our churches here. The denomination that OMS has worked to found almost 50 years ago has yet to send it's own missionary, so it was great to see such interest in missions on a grass roots level. And that is something I have dreamed to see since I first arrived in Brazil. God is doing something here, and it's awesome to have part in it. And folks, don't think for a second that we are here on our own. We are only here because you are praying and supporting us. We consider ourselves your representatives here in Brazil. And what ever God chooses to accomplish through this ministry, you too have a part of it. So thank you

In our preparing to speak at this mission conference, we came across some very interesting data. The first piece was the global population explosion that has been happening the last century. Experts project that the world population that is now at 6.7 billion will pass 9.2 billion in a little over 40 years. This is substantial when you stop to consider that global population for thousands of years sat constantly around 1/3 of a billion. It wasn't until the 1800's that we passed the 1 billion mark. What that means practically for us today is that more people are alive in this generation who don't know Jesus, than all other generations combined. That's pretty heavy. And at a time when we as a church should be doing our maximum to reach these people mission organizations are dwindling. 3 years ago, when we started to fund to come to Brazil, it was projected that 44% of all OMS missionaries would be retiring in 10 years. All of our fields within OMS are hurting for personnel. Marla and I have also been reading (actually Marla does the reading, and I do the listening) the book The Heavenly Man. It is a biography of Brother Yun, one of the founding fathers of the modern house church movement in China. He had been beaten many times to the point of death, spent 7 years on different occasions in prison, and preach courageously through out China and now throughout the world. With a background like he has, he had some interesting commentaries on the Western church. In one of them he writes:

"I've seen people in Western churches worshipping as if they're already in heaven. Then someone invariably brings a comforting message like, "My children, I love you. Don't be afraid, I'm with you." I'm not opposed to such words, but why is it that nobody seems to hear a Word from the Lord like, "My child, I want to send you to the slums of Asia or the darkness of Africa to be my messenger to people dying in their sin"?

A few paragraphs later he writes: "The Great Commission has not changed. There are many churches trying to create a heaven here on earth, but until the Western church obeys the Great Commission and takes the gospel to the ends of the earth, people are just playing with God and are not really serious about the truth. Many churches look beautiful on the outside, but are dead where it counts, on the inside. If you truly want to see God move, the two main things that you must do is learn the Word of God and have the obedience to do what God tells you to do."

These are strong words, and have challenged me greatly, and it is with them that I leave you today.

Thank You for all that you do,
in Him for Him,
Micah, Marla and Samara.
ps. oh yeah, prayer requests: Please continue praying for Marla's Visa, that God would grant it in His perfect timing. Please pray for me as I preach next Sunday, and get ready to teach a course on "the Family." Pray also for a church planting / cell group conference that I'll be going to in a few weeks. Pray also for our support account, that it will stay in the black. Pray for the group that I disciple, some of them have encountered really hard personal and family times.
pps. photo descriptions


**********************Cliffnotes: March 08 Update*************************************************************
In this e-mail I wrote a bit of how God has been using this mission experience to grow us into the people He wants us to be. Our faith is growing and starting to mature. We also shared a little bit of some of the activities that we've been involved in lately. We finished with some information and a commentary that really challenged us this past week. If you've skipped down to the bottom of this message to read the cliffnotes, it's because you have little time to read, but I would encourage you to at least read the last three paragraphs of this message. Start with the paragraph that starts "In our preparing to speak..."
thanks
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Jan 9, 2008 - Fear and Future

***********Fear and Future cliffnotes available at page bottom*******************

It was supposed to be one of the conversations that would bring clarity. One that would bring focus, and confirmation, but when it ended, I was left with more questions that when we begun. More questions, and yet small, growing excitement at the potential.

When God first called me to follow Him, I resisted. I didn't resist His salvation. I didn't resist the cross, that is a free gift given to all who will take it. What I resisted was His call for discipleship. The "deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me." That's the part I didn't like. Though salvation is free, discipleship costs, and I knew that. So when God called me to follow Him, I was reluctant. In my argument with God, after I had exhausted my final reason, He trumped them all when He said to me "Micah, I'm going to do something, and you can be a part of it or not. You decide." So then and there, nearly 10 years ago, I laid down my hopes and dreams to follow Him, wherever He led. And in that moment I accepted the privilege to participate in 'something' greater than myself, 'something' of lasting significance; all the while, not knowing exactly that that 'something' would be.

So here we sit ten years later, still trying to clearly define what the 'something,' is. What that 'something' looks like in a practical way. "Please God, what is it that you want us to do? Why have you placed us here? Why have you given us these passions and abilities? What is it that you want us to do with them? Why have you allowed us to see such needs." Each question forming a piece of the puzzle of that when put together will show the will of God. But unlike most puzzles, there is no front of the box to look at, no pre-filled life resume to follow. Just the darkness of the unknown and God.

As we have been asking you pray about the generality of our future, I want to detail a little bit of the specifics of these pieces.

First is the piece of passions and abilities:
Marla and I share a deep desire for mentoring and discipleship. Although the preferred age groups are different, we both like to teach. She likes working with the children, and I like working with people a little older. We also have passions and/or abilities in hospitality, contribution, the development of ideas and strategies. We also like sports and the out of doors.

The second piece of this puzzle has to do with perceived needs here where we are. On the local level, our church is growing and expanding. Marla and I have had the honor of helping to develop future leaders, and starting some new ministries. As the church grows and becomes more and more established, we would love to stay where we are, lending a hand where needed as we have been doing these past two years. On a national level, the denomination that our local church is a part of has been undergoing major revitalization. We have a strong leader with a clear vision, and much work to do to accomplish that vision. The name of the denomination is "Missionary Church," and as of yet, have not sent one missionary to another country. In my experience there is little of a mission mindset in the general population of these churches. This needs to change. The denomination, that is around 50 years old, is a healthy denomination. But one sign of health is reproduction, and as of yet has not reproduced, or even had much of a desire to reproduce what was done here in another country. I look around me and see a generation of potential missionaries. Missionaries that could have great impact on the planet, they just need to be woken up.

I also see great need within OMS Brazil in the next 3 to 5 years. In 2 years the current field leader will retire. The next missionary family in terms of seniority is returning on furlough with uncertain plans of their return. What this means in terms of field leadership and direction, and how it relates specifically to us, I don't know...but the need isn't hard to see.

Combined with these other two pieces are the counsel of friends and supervisors, the prayers of you all, and the peace of God. Hopefully we'll be able to present a clear vision of what we'll be doing in Brazil when we are in the states this spring for furlough. (by the way if you’d like to have us visit you, your church, small group, friends…and share about Brazil, let us know…) But I won't lie, there is fear in the unknown. There is the part of us that screams for the security. A safer plan that doesn't have so many "what if's." A plan where we would know where Samara would grow up. A plan that would know if we were to paint a wall today like we want to that we'd be able to enjoy it for years to come. A plan where we'd finally be able to unpack all of our boxes...for good. But I don't know if that is what God has for us. But I know where He has brought us. And I know 'how' He has brought us. Though it has not been easy, He has brought us to a good place. And we have to trust, in a very practical way, that His plans are for our good. To give a hope and a future.

I see our empty suitcases sitting in our storage room almost every day. They serve as an ominous reminder that where we are is only temporary. That one day, very soon, we'll be traveling again. We'll be packing up our things in boxes and filling our suitcases. We'll be living from a car and from the houses of our parents. We'll be without our own space or routine heading into a future that is uncertain. A future who's plans are based on perceptions and speculations. And I guess fear will always surround uncertainty. But it is what we do with this fear that will mark our lives. I was reading a book recently that was dealing with this issue of fear. It used the example of a little girl learning to swim. On the side of the pool, with her toes over the edge stands a little girl trying to decide what she is going to do. Her father is in the pool with open arms waiting to catch her. She knows he is there, but can he be trusted. Surely there will be water that goes up her nose. Surely the water will be cold, and what if he looses his grip on her. The decision that she makes standing on the edge of the pool has consequences. If she jumps, she'll find that her father can be trusted. She'll find the water is cold, but not too cold. And the next times she finds herself on the edge of a pool, she is more likely to jump. If she backs away now, and lets her fear dominate her, the next time she is at the edge of a pool, she is more likely to once again be dominated by that same fear. The decision has consequences both ways.

For those of you who knew me growing up, you know I rarely let my fear keep me from jumping into any body of water (not necessarily a good thing). But as I have gotten older, it gets harder to make such decisions. When I got married, I was no longer living just for myself, I had my wife to consider. And now that I'm a father, I have my family and their security to think about. But I cannot loose that edge. God did not create me to be dominated or ruled by fear. As God was with me when I was single, so He is with us now. As He provided for me then, so He will provide for us in the uncertainty of the future. I have to fight to keep fear from having a foothold.

There is one fear, however, I never hope to loose. A fear that has served as a motivation for me for the last 10 years. It is the fear in the knowledge that one day I will have to give account for what I have done with what was entrusted to me. One day God will ask me what I have done for Him with what he has given me. And in that day, packing boxes and interest rates won't mean a thing. I want to be found faithful. I want to hear Him say "well done."

As far as prayer requests…. Between writing the previous paragraph and this paragraph, I jumped on-line to check how Marla’s application process was going on her permanent visa. After typing in the necessary protocol numbers we found that her visa had been denied. Hmmmm, now what? After checking, and re-checking that what saw was right, we drove down to the federal police to ask them what we could do. They said we could pay a big fee and contest the denial, or we could start again, and this time apply for permanency for Marla on the basis of Samara being a Brazilian (and Marla being her mom). They also said that these type of visas should be pretty much automatic, but it still means waiting another 4-6 (based on our previous experiences) for the visa to be processed and approved. So that may back up our original plans of being in the States mid-April. Anyway prayer for this process would be appreciated. We would also ask for prayer for the arranging of all the details while we are in the States, as well as wisdom on how to arrange for our absence from Brazil. This includes everything from packing, housing rental agreements, to preparing the ministries we are involved in to function without our presence.

We are trusting God for His timing and guidance and thanking you for your prayers and involvement in our lives and this ministry.

in Him, for Him
Micah and Marla

Ps. The first picture is of me leading a bible study group that we have on Saturday nights. The second picture is of Marla teaching in one of the Sunday school classes, and the third is a picture we had thought to send out as a Christmas card…better late than never

***********Fear and Future Cliffnotes*************************************
This email followed our last few months quest to find out what God wants us to do in terms of a long-term future. We had thought we were nearing an answer when a couple of conversations opened our eyes to a reality and a need we hadn’t previously seen. Instead of focusing down, we got a bigger perspective. It’s kind of exciting, and yet kind of scary at the same time. The rest of this email was a commentary on how we handle fear. The decisions we make when faced with a difficult situation have consequences. If we raise to the challenge, the next time we are challenged we are more likely to raise yet again. But if we shrink back because of fear, fear can get a foothold, and dominate our future decisions. Our prayer requests our more for our future. Marla’s permanent visa, our furlough plans, and wrapping up things here. Thanks for your prayers and support
********************************************************************

Nov. 21, 2007 - Thankfulness Unplanned

**************"Cliffnotes" check at page bottom*************************************************

As I watched the policeman follow the stretcher through the emergency room, I thought to myself in retrospect, I never had really pictured myself in this situation. Yet there we were awaiting the results of the exam.

The week had started pretty normal, as any other. I was busy about the work of the church, and Marla had her hands full with Samara, and arranging our upcoming travels to Sao Paulo. We had been putting off the visit to the nearest US Consulate since Samara was born. We knew we needed to go register her as an American, and apply for a passport and social security card for some time, but the very thought of such a hurried trip to the world's second or third biggest city with a baby, made it easy for other things, to become priority. But finally the plans had been made. The appointment had been set up, the bus tickets purchased, and a cash advance given to cover all the consular fees. We were to leave on Monday night at 11:40pm, travel through the night, arrive in Sao Paulo at 5:45am the next morning, take a taxi to the US Consulate, have our appointment at 9:30am, go back to the bus station to meet some friends for lunch then finish off back at the bus station to meet our 7pm bus that would bring us back to Londrina. That Friday night Samara woke up with a fever. This being her first sickness of any kind, we were a little nervous. So at 4am (our time), we called one of our good friends in the states who works as a nurse at a medical hotline. She put our minds to rest and we went back to sleep. The next day (Saturday) Samara's fever was higher, but we kept it under control with some infant Tylonal. Sunday, her fever went even higher and she was more sluggish, and lost her appitite. Sunday night we resolved to take her to her pediatritian to get his advise on our upcoming lightning trip to Sao Paulo. Monday morning Samara's fever had broken, but Marla took her to the doctor anyway, just to get his opinion. He said she was fine and that we should go ahead with our travel plans, so we started to get ready. Monday afternoon the fever returned but only for a few hours. We went to the bus station like normal, got checked in, and boarded, all with her asleep in her car seat next to Marla. She had a rough night waking up screaming every couple of hours, which in turn woke up everybody else on the bus every couple of hours, but what do you expect, it's a night on the bus right. Everything went according to schedual when we got to Sao Paulo. We got off the bus, took a taxi to the consulate. Arrived earily enough to pick up breakfast at a little place across the street, had our meeting, and by 10:30, had all of our applications submitted, and were walking out....mission accomplished. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves on a bright sunny day, and had an hour to spare before we needed to make the 30 minute trip back to the bus station to meet our friends. In the taxi we had passed a nice looking mall, so decided to return there to kill the hour. Being a city holiday, the stores in the mall were set to open at noon. The very time we had marked to meet our friends. So for the next hour we strolled through the mostly empty mall and wished we could stay a little longer to take of advantage of American stores such as Applebee's and Starbucks, (which we hadn't seen since leaving the United States over a year ago.) But a promise is a promise, so we left the mall, and took the subway to return back to the bus station.

Like planned we met our friends, being a little late because we had never taken the subway in Sao Paulo, and it took longer than we thought. We got caught up over a fast food meal in the bus station before going with them to a different mall, that was on their way home. All during this time Samara was extra fussy, and we were not able to comfort her. It was then that we began to notice a rash that was starting on Samara's face. We'd been told that a rash often follows a fever and not to worry so we continued with our friends. Because of a church comittment they had made much earlier, our friends Marcus and Julianna could only hang out a couple hours, but it was great to see how they were doing. Because most of everything else in the city was closed due to the holiday, the mall was packed to such a point that navigating our stroller through the crowd became pretty difficult. It was there that Samara started to scream. And I'm not talking cry, but scream. She would not be consold, she would not calm down. So after about half an hour, we found a babychanging room, where Marla was able to calm her down give her some pain medicine and eventually put her to sleep in her stroller. We had just a few minutes left to be with our friends before we walked them back the the Mall exit closest to the subway stop, and hugged them goodbye. About 5 minutes later, Samara woke up again screaming and wrything. We tried a quiet dark hall, just to get her calmed down, but to no avail. After another 20 minutes we desicded to look for a pharmacy in the mall. After the security guard told us the phamacy was on the ground floor we broke the big mall "no-no" and took the stroller down 2 escalators, to arrive at where we thought Samara would find relief. The pharmasist was very helpful and very concerned, and Samara was growing more and more agitated. Her rash had spread over her body. They called a nearby doctor's office, only to find it closed because of the holiday. They told us the name of a hospital and suggested that we leave immediatly. Now in my mind I'm thinking: babies cry right? Granted Samara doesn't scream that much, but she'll calm down right? And the rash is weird, but our bus leaves in 3 hours and we need to be on it. After one deeply worried look from Marla I said, "what was the name of the hospital again?" A fellow customer, Marine, said "I'll go with you if you want." Marla shot me another look, the kind that said "she's a complete stranger, this is a big city, we'll be fine." As the pharmasist walked us to the nearest taxi, I looked infront of us, and saw that lady from the phamacy and thought "I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm not even from here, and we'll need all the help that we can get." So I yelled to her, and she hopped in the front seat.

Marina paid the taxi as he dropt us off at the emergency exit. The hospital attendant told us we'd have to enter from the other side of the hospital, but viewing the condition of Samara, ushered her and Marla right in, as Marina and I went to the main entrance. When we entered, Marla was already there giving the clerk some of Samara's infomation. When the asked for local contact information, Marina gave hers. Screaming the way she was, Samara went right to the front of most lines, and with in 30 minutes of being in the pharmacy, she was in front of a very good pediatrician. Marla and our new friend Marina were with her, as we all couldn't go, and I wouldn't be as much of a help a Marina could be. After a few minutes, the four left the examining room, with a request for 3 tests. One blood, one urine, and one for Rubela. Once a fever had been ruled out, all the nurses seemed to pay no mind to the screaming infant in front of them. That's when Marina really stepped in. I'm not sure what she said, but what ever it was, we were moving once again. By 5:30pm we were standing at the door where they take blood tests. The room was small, and there were seats for people to wait for the results of their tests in the larger room in front, which just happened to be the emergancy room where the ambulances were bringing injured people from all over. As I stood talking with Marina, I looked in and saw that they had just tried to get a blood sample from Samara but had missed, she was screaming and flailing, and her blood was all over. That was the last straw for Marla, in tears she left the room and said "Micah they want me to hold her down, and I just can't, I just can't." So in I went, looked our screaming little girl in the eye as I pinned her shoulders to the examining table so they could take her blood. The blood was drawn, the bandaid put on, and there we were on those seats in the emergancy room awaiting the result that were supposed to come by 8:30pm (an hour and a half after our bus was to have left for Londrina). Marina took the paper so that she could get the rhubella test that would be available in 10 days. We exhanged e-mail addresses, hugs, and with that our Sao Paulo angel left the hospital.

So there the three of us quietly sat. In the emergancy room of a hospital I never even knew the name of. In a neigborhood, I don't think I could ever get back to if I had to, once again alone in one of the world's biggest city, knowing that we'd miss our bus home. We were physically exausted from the previous night's bus ride. Emotionally spent from the previous 4 hours. Yet I tell you the truth, the longer we sat there, the more we realized how truely small our problem was and the more thankful we became.

The first guy they wheeled in, the guy that was followed in by the police officer, already had a bandage on his ankel. From what I gathered he had no documentation with his motorcycle when he wrecked it and was looking at loosing his motorcycle and a pretty massive fine. He was more angry than hurt. He hobbled off the bed with the help his family. The next that came through the doors, came through being carried in the big arms of who I imagined was her husband. She was sobbing grasping at her leg as he layed her down on the stretcher before checking in with the attendant. The nurses that entered just walked around her talking between themselves seeminly unaware of her existence. The next guy that walked in was dressed as if he was a butcher. His clothes looked as if he had come off of a motorcycle and his left hand was covered by a bloody rag. As I was talking with the guy about getting Samara's blood test results a police "special unit" vehicle backe up to the two big doors. In the back a dead kid. One police officer grabbed his hands, one his legs, and without a stretcher they carried him through the room, down the hall. I had not seen it, but when I left the room, Marla's hand was over her mouth, and there was a trail of blood from the back of the vehicle down the hall. About that time a nurse told us a more quiet place would be better for Samara to wait for the test result. So after walking a bit through the hospital we found a dark quite hall. Unlike what we've found in the states, people are allowed in much of the hospital, and there are waiting rooms for different departments sprinkled all over. We sat in some seats, in that dark hall and just exhaled. After about 20 minutes, a young guy wheeled what was probably his sister or his girlfriend in a wheelchair into the room next to where we were sitting. From the way it looked, we guessed the young lady was anorexic. He left her in the room with the doctor and sat just a few seats down from us. His shoulders sank as he sat, and his head fell into his hands, the strength that he had been showing just a few minutes earlier obviously exausted. With his fingers in his corn rowes he just sat there thinking, just a few seats down from me. I had just turned off my mp3 player and was gathing my courage so that I could ask him if I could pray from him when Samara woke up and started craying again. Then the mt arrived and began talking with him, and I kicked myself for the missed opportunity. On our way back to get the blood results we passed a hallway that was completely crowded, and one lady, about 50 years, old crying unconsolably by herself. And I thought to myself, that I had not seen so much emotional brokeness since the revival meetings when I was a kid, but unlike those meetings, there was no one here to comfort. It was like the Bible stories that you hear. People sick, or dying who fall at Jesus's feet. People are still sick, people are still dying. What a ministry one could have at a hospital so filled with brokeness.

After not being able to obtain a urine sample because Samara had been eating and drinking so little, (combined with an incompitent nurse who was assigned to extract the sample from Samara, only to strip her and prep her, then leave the room for several minutes only to return to find she had gone pee in his absence and the only urine that she had let go since 6 in the morning was now dripping down the bed)...lets see, where was I. Oh yeah, we left the hospital at 8:00pm with the results of Samara's blood test in hand. The pediatrician who first attended us had left, so we just took the results with us and hurried down the dark empty streets towards the subway station, Marla carring our sleeping baby, and I carrying everything else. We used our last two subway tickets, and entered the train. We had about 25 minutes to reherse what we would say to the bus company begging them to let us on any bus heading to Londrina that night, before arriving at the main city bus station. We got off the train and went directly to the Garcia Bus Company counter. We began our story, the clerk looked at our tickets, and said they had a bus leaving for Londrina in 5 minutes, and to go talk to the driver. We ran through that station, picked up some bags we had locked for the day in some security lockers, and made it down there in time. When we entered the bus, we were 3 of 5 people on board a bus designed to carry 50. We had three seats next to eachother. I guess the bus made some other stops to pick up some other people, but to be honest, I don't really remember. After our first stop, I closed my eyes and I was out for the count.

We arrived 5:10am the following morning, just 3 hours later than originally schedualed. We went home and prompty fell asleep. That day (Wednessday) we went back to our pediatritian, showed him the blood test results, and he told us not to worry. The temperature, the rash, was all probably roseola, which we had guessed. The irritability and screaming he didn't know. But Samara was better, and even now continues to improve. From the best that we can guess, we think that her loss of appitite put less food in her stomach. Then when we gave her some pain medicine, it really upset her stomach. She was far from home, and far from much of the things that normally give her comfort. She was also surrounded by so many new noises and sounds, and movement, she just went into overload mode, and tried to shut it out the only way babies know how to shut it out...screaming. Wow, how glad we were to be home. After we got back from the doctor we all took another nap, and in truth are still recoving even today. We are so thankful. Thankful that Samara will be fine and that we really are so healthy. Thanful for Marina!!! Thankful for the daily prayers of you guys and many others, Thankful to be home and be together. Thankful to our heavenly Father for his care for us. And thankful to be heading to sleep in a BED!We love you guys and we are SO thankful for you. We just wanted to update you on the last few days.

in Him, for Him,
Micah and Marla and Samara



**************"Cliffnotes" Thankfulness Unplanned*******************************************************
Not all adventures we take in life are pleasant ones. This email relayed what happened in an emergancy room in Sao Paulo, and what happened to bring us there.
1. We had planned a trip to Sao Paulo to get Samara's Passport, Social Security card and American Birth Certificate
2. Samara got a fever before we left
3. We checked with our doctor and went anyway
4. She got considerably worse in Sao Paulo, for unknown reasons
5. We ended up going to a hospital, accompanied by a lady we had never met before, seeing things we had only seen on tv
6. We got home ok, and Samara is getting better, and we are still recoving.
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