********Cliffnotes available at page bottom***************************
1 Corinthians 13 is called by many the “Love Chapter,” and is quoted at many of the wedding that I have attended. As chapter 13 opens, it does speak of love’s many attributes. As the chapter progresses, it shifts a little and speaks of our limited earthly perspective. “We now see as through a glass darkly…” it continues, putting more truth to poetry. But the chapter ends with this phrase that has long intrigued me
“Now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
It isn’t the last few words that have for so long, captured my attention. After all who could deny the greatest is love. What has captured my attention is the list. The list of three, faith, hope and love. What makes these three attributes stand above the rest? What is their significance to us as Christians. What is their relationship to each other?
The first is a no-brainer. Love is the greatest. The Bible says that God is love. Love binds together the body of Christ, or the church. In fact, so much ink in the Bible is dedicated to the topic of “love” that I never doubted that love would top such a list.
Undoubtedly faith also would have made my list, if I were to write a list of three. The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God. In reading the gospel accounts of the miracles of Jesus, we read over and over Jesus say the words “your faith has healed you.” It seems that faith is an essential ingredient in the miracles of God. Faith enabled Peter to walk on water. Jesus said that if we had faith the size of a mustard seed we could move mountains. The book of James links faith with works or action. In fact, the author wrote that faith without works is dead. For faith to be real, it has to be linked to action. Faith is our shield. Of course faith belongs on the list.
But what then of hope? Why is hope included in the list of the big three? What am I not seeing here?
For the past decade, I have been alarmed at the increased hopelessness of my generation. Information barrages us constantly. There is global warming, the melting of the icecaps and other awaiting environmental catastrophes. There are millions of starving children in Africa. There are crazy dictators pursuing nuclear arms, and terrorists aiming at America. There are incurable diseases of AIDS and other “epidemics” who’s spread at any time threaten our global community. There are gangs, violence and drugs with all their sociological effects. There are daycare workers beating children, kidnappers, and killers. We are told that social security will be bankrupt by the time we are of age to use it, and I have heard people talking of what they’ll do when the next depression hits; when it all comes down to guns and bunkers. We have been told that Islam is growing and Christianity is slowing, at a time in world history when population is exploding. Amongst all of this “information” that we hear on a daily basis, where is the hope? Are we losing our hope? Have we entered a Crisis of Hope? And if so, what are the implications? What will be the effects? And why again, is hope on the list of the Big Three?
In pondering all of this a couple days ago, I began to once again think about many of the miracles that Christ preformed. Yes, it is true that according to Jesus their “faith had healed them.” It was because of their faith that Jesus COULD heal them that initially brought them to the Master’s side. But it was hope that Jesus WOULD heal them that motivated that faith to act. And maybe that is it. Maybe that is the relationship. Hope motivates faith to act… and when faith acts, miracles can happen. Think of it like this, we are all sailboats, and faith is what our sails are made of. Faith enables us to move. But hope, is the mast. It holds the sail. Just like a sail boat with a sail and no mast doesn’t move, so faith with no hope is worthless. In the same way, hope without faith, is like sailboat with a mast that has its sails put down… it will never move. No not until faith is hoisted on hope do things begin to happen.
The more I think about the analogy, the more I like it. I know, all analogies have short comings, but let’s explore this concept a little more. When storms begin on the oceans, the first thing a good sailor does is to drop the sails. If he doesn’t, he risks getting beat up by the wind and getting blown off course. And if the wind blows hard enough, it can actually break the mast. And without a mast, after the storm passes, the ship drifts at the mercy of the sea. Now think of how this could apply in our lives. Sometimes when the storms begin to rage in our lives we should drop our sails (not our hope). We don’t stop hoping, but dropping our sails prevents us from acting. With our hope secure and patience to wait to act until the storm passes we can get through many hardships. But when we act too quickly in the midst of hard times, we often find ourselves in more trouble. And sometimes when the winds blow hard enough, and the circumstances become difficult enough, we get caught in a cycle of acting and reacting and our hope can break. And with our hope broken, we loose our direction.
I think of the old navel battles that I read about in school. How the three-masted battleships would come up broadside one with another, and shoot their canons at each other. One of the goals being to destroy the opponent’s mast. Because every gunner knew that without a mast, the enemy’s ship would be paralyzed. Paralyzed: unable to run, unable to persue. I think of how this could apply to us. Though we sometimes forget it, the Bible tells us that we are engaged in a war. And I wonder if our enemy hasn’t intentionally aimed his weapons at destroying our hope. Because he knows that a Christian without hope is paralyzed. I look at the hopelessness that is being bred by some of the things that I wrote about a few paragraphs before, and I wonder if this hopelessness is resulting in apathy. All of which in turn, will render us completely ineffective as Christians.
As Christians, where is our hope? If hope is the ingredient that sustains our faith, and enables it to act… in what should we hope? Is our hope secure, or has it taken a beating in these turbulent times? Returning to the boat analogy, in a sense, a sailboat is built around the mast. The mast in turn holds the sail that propels the boat. The mast is at the heart of the ship, and as such, it has to be protected. In the same way, our hope is at the heart of who we are, and as such, it should also be protected.
As a culture, it seems that we are becoming more and more pessimistic. Is our pessimism as a society reducing our capacity to achieve? I think back in history of people who did incredible things. I think to the soldiers preparing to storm the beaches of Normandy. And I think how things could have been different had every soldier thought “oh well, Hitler has already won. What is the use?” How different history would have been written.
As Christians, the Bible is absolutely full of verses and stories that provide hope.
The word “hope” occurs 121 times in the King James translation of the Bible. And what is truly interesting is which authors used this word the most in their writings. Job, David, Jeremiah and Paul all found themselves often concentrating on the subject. These were all people who knew how to suffer and to suffering unjustly. The hope that many of these men had was independent of their surroundings. Their hope was secure. Hope would have been on their “list of three.”
So my question today is: To what do we secure our hope? Do we hope and believe with the same steadfastness as these men, the promises of God’s Word? Do we live with the hope of heaven? Do we hope and believe that one day God will set things right? How firm is our hope and belief that God will take care of us today? Or are we as a people; are we as a Church, slowly loosing our hope? And in doing so, slowly loosing our direction?
All this is not to say that the situation is hopeless or beyond remedy. The Word is absolutely full of hope. There exists a hope that will never fail. A hope that will not disappoint. A hope that will not leave us shaken. And that hope, according to 1 Tim. 1:1, is Christ Himself.
As far as prayer request, please continue to pray for our funding. Pray also for the OMS confrence that I'll be attending in the end of June. It will be the longest time I've been away from my family since Samara was born.
Thanks for being a part of the team,
for the only Cause that matters,
Micah and Marla, Samara and Noelle
ps. the first couple pictures are of Samara on a particularly warm spring day. The pictures of Noelle... well... I had a naked baby and a bear rug at my disposal, what would you have done?
********Cliffnotes: Crisis of Hope******************************************
In his writtings to the Corinthian church, Paul penned these words. Yet these three remain; faith, hope and love. Of the list faith and love get alot of press, but what of hope. What is it's role in the Christian's life, and what is its relationship to the other two attributes. In this e-mail I explored some ideas of just why hope was considered so important. The quest to successfully answer this question in my own head is not yet over, but through an analogy of a sailboat, I think I'm learning more of how faith and hope are so vitally linked to one another
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Only In Alaska
*************Cliffnotes available at page bottom****************
Having just recently entered our house again from clearing the drainage ditches that surround us, I’m reminded that there are many things that I have gotten to do recently that I have only get to do in Alaska.
I guess that feeling first hit me the first week after we had arrived. We spent the first few days after our arrival unpacking our things, moving in, and making this house that we are house sitting our home. Itching to get into the snow, and take advantage of this winter wonderland, we loaded up on the snow machines (that’s snowmobiles for anybody outside of Alaska) and headed up to the hills for some riding. It took us 15 miles of riding to arrive at our destination. It was a place where the snow was still deep, and the hills created a sort of skate park for our 600 pound machines. When we finally broke for lunch, and turned off our machines, the cell phones started ringing. Apparently the volcano Mt. Redoubt had blown and the ash cloud was heading our way. The fact it had blown was kind of a surprised to me. The mountain had actually blown a few days earlier, but the prevailing winds had taken the ash far away from us. I guess I just assumed that once a volcano blows, it’s done. Well I was wrong. (It’s blown something like 20 times since the time we first arrived). Apparently this was a big one, and the winds were bringing the ash right for us. As we looked to the direction of the volcano, all we could see was a massive blue and black cloud. In the discussion of what to do that followed, I learned that volcanic ash can destroy snow machines (snowmobiles). It’ll tear up the skis on the front, eat up the track that propels it, and if it gets into the engine, can wreak havoc on the motor. So the race was on. We had to get home before the ash started falling. From the hill the overlooked the landscape, I could see where we had to go, and it was right into the middle of where that dark blue cloud was just about headed. We pointed those machines and opened them up. Man we flew, and all I could think of was how cool this was. I mean, never in my life had I raced a cloud of volcanic ash on a snow machine. Only in Alaska. At one point I hit 70mph, just keeping up. We got home, covered the machines and about 3 minutes later, the ash started falling.
I’ve had that feeling others times here and there. Yesterday, for example, the day heated up to about 40 degrees. The snow started melting quickly, but the ground below it was still frozen. So the water started forming little rivers and streams looking to settle in low spots in the ground. Unfortunately the crawl space under our house just happens to be that low spot for the surrounding area. There was already about 8 inches of ice cold water sitting under our house when we first found it, and knew it’d be a lot more if we didn’t do something about it. Marla’s dad Tom went to a friends house to get a pump to take care of the water under the house, but we knew the pump would do little good if we couldn’t redirect the new water that was coming into the yard somewhere else lower. So with shovels in hand we began digging a network of water channels that cut through the snow. These channels soon became little rivers, and our house began to look as if it had a moat the width of a shovel that had been dug around it. As the afternoon wore on, and we were beginning to have success, I began thinking: never before had I dug a moat for the defense of my house. Only in Alaska.
Looking out our kitchen window this morning, I saw three bald eagles fighting over something to eat. The same few eagles we’ve been seeing for the past few days on the trees out side our house. We’ve had multiple moose (meece?) walk through our snow covered lawn. And on the drive home from town, we’ve enjoyed great views of the volcano venting a giant plume of smoke. In all of these times, the one thought that keeps coming to me: only in Alaska.
I know, most of these things are normal (except maybe for the volcano), and maybe I should have expected them, but hey! I didn’t grow up here. And though I married a local and even wear Carharts and Xtratufs, I am still very much a greenhorn.
Well it seems that spring has definitely sprung. The snow is melting, and the brown grass is starting to show through everywhere. It’ll be a completely different place in another couple weeks. Samara has been loving hanging out with her grandma and grandpa ‘laska while Marla and I have been busy trying to organize a trip to Texas that we’ll be taking in a couple of weeks. We’ll all be going down that way to fund raise, and we’d sure appreciate your prayers. We’ll be starting in Dallas, then driving to Houston, and then to San Antonio. We’ll then go participate in a mission’s conference in Waco before heading to Las Vegas, New Mexico. We’ll then drive back to Dallas, going through Amarillo. All and all, it’ll be just over 2000 miles in a car with a toddler and 2 month old. Please pray for: #1 God to bless this trip, and provide for our funding needs and #2. For the girls as they travel and sleep in many new beds in many new places.
Thank you for your continued partnership in ministry,
For the only cause that matters,
Micah and Marla
Ps. The first couple of pictures are of the ash cloud as it approached. Then there is a picture of Marla writing in the ash, followed by a picture of Noelle being held by grandpa ‘laska, and finally a shot of our little house.
**********Cliffnotes: Only in Alaska***************************
This was just a fun email about some of the differences in living in Alaska. Though my time here has been short, I’ve already got to do some things I’ve never done before. Things like race a volcanic ash cloud home on a snowmachine and dig a moat around my house for its protection. There have been wildlife sightings, and Samara is just loving her grandma and grandpa ‘laska.
Please pray for an upcoming trip to Texas. Pray that God would provide for our funding needs, and that they girls would travel well.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Feb. 26, 2009 - Pondered in Her Heart
**************************Cliffnotes available at page bottom**********************************************
Concerning the birth of Jesus, the Gospel of Luke tells us that "Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart." (Lk. 2:19). I've often wondered just what did she treasure. What details, as a mother, did she ponder... did she hold dear. So in the retelling of the birth of our second daughter I thought it only right to let Marla be the one to tell this story. So without any further words from me, I give you the birth of Noelle Nicole, as seen from her mother's eyes.
As all of you know I have been pregnant for the last 9 months. And yes, I'm pretty happy to be able to see my toes again. During the course of the pregnancy it was discovered that this was to be a "high risk" pregnancy. The problem began because my blood type is RH-, which would not have been a problem if Micah's blood type was also RH-. Because he has a positive blood type, Samara also had a positive blood type. Again, this is pretty common, and isn't usually a problem in the United States because here, women with RH- blood are given a shot called rogahm, which works to mask the RH factor. Because most of Samara's pregnancy and her birth was in Brazil, the doctors never gave me rogahm. And somewhere at the end Samara's pregnancy, possibly at birth, my blood became exposed to her + blood type, and my body began to produce antibodies to fight this "foreign invader." This wasn't much of a problem for Samara because she was so far developed, and it took my body a while to start producing these antibodies in large quantities. Then we became pregnant with Noelle. Early in this pregnancy my immune system recognized another "foreign intruder" and began working overtime to produce these antibodies. Fast forward to about 20 weeks into this pregnancy. During the first appointment here in the states my doctor during the routine blood tests finds these abnormally high levels of antibodies. Thus began the weekly trips to the perinatal clinic for ultrasounds and doctor visits, as well as our crash course in why all this matters and what could happen to our baby as a result. There were two possible things that could have happened to Noelle in utero. One being that her system would be overwhelmed by all these antibodies killing off her red blood cells and she would develop anemia, leading to possible blood transfusions in utero. The second, and the one that did happen, was that her little immune system would work in high gear and begin producing huge levels of red blood cells to compensate for the ones my antibodies were killing off.
Fast forward to last Saturday afternoon, my mom was flying in on standby from Alaska and after watching seven flights take off without her, finally caught one that landed her in Portland at PM. We came home and were excited to have few days to spend together before Noelle arrived. But God had other plans. Only twelve hours after my mom's arrival (about 4:30am), I awoke feeling contractions that were becoming more consistent and closer together. I timed them for about an hour and they were a steady 10 minutes apart. I woke up Micah and as he was finishing packing our things for the hospital, I also woke up my Mom and she said something along the lines of "you're kidding!" As we walked in the hospital (about 7:30) the nurses were changing shifts and we saw a friend from our church who I've gotten to know through a womens prayer group. So Jamie got to be my triage nurse. A bit later after I'd walked the halls having contractions and finally got admitted and into a room we found out that my doctor, Dr. Guinn, was the one on call that day! As the hours wore on my contractions got closer and closer together. Finally at 3pm Dr Guinn broke my water and things really progressed after that. It was the most intense and difficult thing I've ever done. Micah was an awesome "coach" as he breathed with me through every contraction and knew just exactly how to help me cope. It was also so special that my Mom got to be there, she would be massaging my back while I was breathing and getting through each contraction. I got to the point where I knew that I couldn't go on for many more hours without something to help with the pain so we decided to do a dose of Fentanol which took the edge off the pain for about 1/2 an hour. I think I had that two times. I don't know how much it really helped physically but I think that mentally I thought it was helping and that made me believe I could keep going. Labor seemed to go on forever...finally I was dilated fully and the Doctor said I could start pushing. This was great as it felt like we were really getting close. I'd pushed for about an hour when the doctor said she needed to use the forceps to help Noelle's head come out. So in went the forceps and with one more big push at 8:36 pm Noelle Nicole was born. Micah cut the cord and Dr. Guinn placed her directly on my chest where the nurses rubbed and wiped at her with a towel. It really was a fabulous moment to finally be holding this little girl we've been praying for and anticipating for so long. Micah's parents, brother Ben and Samara were able to come in and meet Noelle and it was so cute to see how excited Samara was to meet baby Noelle. And compared to our experience in Brazil this was SOOO much better. The nurses were super helpful, and we felt very supported and well taken care of.
Noelle spent that first night in our room where I was able to hold her and feed her and snuggle her. First thing the following morning they did a blood test and we found out that her bilirubin count was high at 9.4 and she needed to be admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). By Monday afternoon she was in the level 2 of the NICU (the higher the number...the higher the danger...3 is the max) under the blue lights that help break down the bilirubin in the skin so it could be passed from her body through her digestive system. It was really hard to not be able to hold her and snuggle her. We could only take her out about every three hours for 1/2 an hour to feed her. They began testing Noelle's blood every 6-12 hours to monitor her bilirubin levels more closely. On Tuesday morning I was discharged from the hospital, but the nurse got permission for us to "board" at the hospital while Noelle was in NICU. That meant that they found a room that wasn't being used across the hall from the NICU and we were able to stay in it. It had a bed, a tv and a bathroom. They let us use it with the understanding that as soon as it was needed for another patient we'd be kicked out. It was so wonderful to be able to be right there and see Noelle whenever we wanted to and to hold her little hands and to pray over her and to be able to nurse her. They tested her again Tuesday morning her count had risen to 10.4. By Wednesday morning it was at 16.4 and by that evening the it had level jumped again to 18.9. What the pediatrician couldn't figure out is that even after having received intense photo therapy for almost 36 hours, her bilirubin count continued to climb. It was at that point that the doctor transferred care to a neonatalogist who had been called in especially to care for Noelle. Our neonatalogist was named Dr Newman. Dr Newman was wonderful as she came into our room and explained everything in great detail. From what we remember, she said that Noelle's bilirubin levels were alarmingly high, even with the photo therapy because her problem was concentrated in the blood. She said that Noelle was born with the number of antibodies (from me) in her little system, but her little body had been attaining equilibrium in utero by producing a high number of red blood cells. The thing is, after she was born, she was no longer receiving more antibodies from me, but her body didn't know this for a while, so her immune system was continuing to crank out a high number of red blood cells. Those red blood cells filled her body and then would die. These cells were being produced and dying so fast, that her liver couldn't process them out as fast as they were dying. So they were building up in her system. As those blood cells died and burst open they released a substance called bilirubin that is yellow in color thus causing the jaundiced yellow skin color. High levels of bilirubin can have very serious and permanent effects of brain damage, deafness, seizures and even mental retardation. These begin to happen with levels near 25. Dr Newman was not wanting to get any closer to those numbers and said we needed to intervene right away. She said that Noelle's bilirubin count already warranted a blood transfer and had even ordered the blood from the blood bank before coming to talk to us. A blood exchange in a newborn is taking all of her blood out via a vein in her umbilical cord, while at the same time slowly injecting in somebody else's blood through an artery in her umbilical chord. St Vincent is a huge hospital with the largest NICU in the state. There are about 600 babies born there each month, and even so, this transfusion procedure is very rare. Dr. Newman said they only do "several a year." She said it takes about three hours for the blood to be ready and that in the meantime there was one other treatment (IV IG) they were going to try where they give Noelle a drug through an IV in her umbilical cord that helps to kind of coagulate the bilirubin so her little body can pass it out more efficiently. This was all very emotional for Micah and I, we knew there were so many risks and all we coud do was pray and trust that God was in control. At that point Noelle had already been transferred to the third and highest level of the NICU. As Dr. Newman handed us documents to sign authorizing such a procedure we began to realize how very serious Noelle's condition was or could become. I cried in Micah's arms multiple times and while we were so very thankful to be where Noelle had great care. It was so hard to watch her little body laying there knowing the fight that was going on inside of her. Needless to say we were all for Dr Newman doing whatever she needed to help Noelle.
Surprisingly, IV IG drug treatment helped. After the first treatment was given late Wednesday night (it takes several hours to administer the treatment), her levels had dropped to 17. Dr. Newman was pleased enough to call off the transfusion for the time being and to give Noelle one more dose of the IV IG the next morning. As it turned out, when the doctor tried to put in the IVs in Noelle's umbilical cord, it was already too dried up to access the veins and arteries there so they had to give her an the IV through the soft spot in her head. The second dose of the IV IG, going in again through that IV in her head, brought her bilirubin levels down and it did not look like Noelle would need the transfusion after all. PRAISE GOD!!
During all this time Micah and I were totally supported by so many of you, family and friends who were praying for us and for Noelle and even a few who came to visit. One thing that was so wonderful was that between the two Grammas, Samara was totally being taken care of. She was in her own home, with her toys and bed and normal routine. This made it so much easier on me, not having to worry about Samara. Yes, it broke my heart each time she came to visit and would cry when she had to say goodbye. However I knew without a doubt that she was totally fine, and that as soon as the elevator doors closed she'd stop crying and be having fun with her "maamaw and maamaw laska". And as for my mother, she said that she was in "Gramma heaven," finally getting so spend so much one on one time with Samara.
Thursday Noelle was monitored and her levels had continued to drop, and she was moved back to level 2 in the NICU. They had done the IV IG and now they removed on of the big lights from above her so see what would happen to her bilirubin levels. We could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Friday we were just waiting and watching to see what her levels would do and what the Dr would say. They were hovering around 9.5. We knew that she might have to be in the hospital for several more days, and we were so thankful and amazed that we'd been able to board in the hospital all this time. Saturday morning after we went in for her normal morning feeding, the nurses called to say the neonatalogist that was on call was there to talk to us. Dr Kemp told us that Noelle's levels were looking good and that he was going to release her to go home!!! We were totally surprised, in a good way, and so thankful. It took nearly 5 more hours to actually be released. The hospital code of "hurry up and wait." The one condition in bringing her home was that we had to get a Wallaby (portable bili-light blanket) to bring home with us and she had to have it on her 24 hours a day. So we had to wait for it to be delivered from somewhere in the depths of the hospital. There was the normal checklist of things to go over and finally at about 2pm a NICU nurse escorted us to the front doors and helped into the car. It was a great moment to drive away and have Noelle safely strapped into her car seat behind us.
We arrived home to grandparents armed with cameras to document Noelle's arrival. I think they were happy to see Micah and I too =0) It's been great to be home and sleep in our own bed and eat good food and have our little family together again. Samara is pretty enthralled with baby Noelle and loves to help with everything. She is a great big sister and transitioning really well to this new addition to the family.
We still have Noelle on the Wallaby and we have to take her every morning to the hospital for a blood test. The last two days she has been barely under 10 in her bilirubin count, so she is holding steady. We do not know how long this will go on, it could be days or it could be weeks. We are just taking one day at a time and are thankful for all or the support, emails, cards, gifts and prayers that all of you have sent our way. It's been an emotional week, but we've seen and experienced God's faithfulness in such personal ways this week. He's met every need and taken care of every detail. From my Mom arriving in time for the birth and being here to help with Samara, to my Doctor being the one on call, to catching the high levels of bilirubin so early, to a great neonatalogist, to being able to room in at the hospital the whole time, to Noelle eating well. Over and over we've seen God's hand in this situation and we praise Him for his goodness to us.
When I became pregnant with Noelle I spent a lot of time praying about this little one and who she would be and specifically what her name should be. I'd go on long walks and think and pray for both Samara and for this new little life growing inside of me. There was a word that the Lord pressed on my heart for Noelle when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. It was the word victory. I shared this with Micah and of course we got online and looked up all kinds of names that had the word victory or victorious in the meaning. But we just didn't really like any of them. I also had fear in my heart that if this baby's name had the meaning of victory that she would have difficult things in her life to be victorious over. I was afraid of what that might mean. So I just pushed the prompting from the Lord to the back of my mind and we looked at all kinds of other names for this baby. But nothing seemed right. five or six weeks later Micah and I were talking and he said he really liked the name Noelle but it means "day of birth" which didn't seem very cool at the time. Then after we found out about all the possible complications with this pregnancy we came back to the word victory as it seemed that God new what He was talking about after all in that being the word pressed on my heart. In our looking we came upon the name Nicole which means "victory for the people" and we liked the idea of combining the names Noelle and Nicole for the general meaning of "a victorious day of birth." Her birth was indeed wonderful in that she is now here and we can hold her and love on her and be delighted in her. While there were some scary and sketchy times in that first week we are thankful for the victorious day of her birth and we look forward to seeing how she will live out a life of victory as God continue to write His story through her life.
Thank you all for your prayers, and we'll do our best to keep you informed in the coming days. Our plan is still to head to Alaska as soon as Noelle can travel, but we're just not sure when that will be so we'll be in Oregon at least a few more weeks. We are not totally out of the woods yet, Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincents. So please keep praying for her and we will do our best to keep you informed. Please feel free to write or call or if you are in the area to stop by we'd love to hear from you all. Also please continue to pray for little Noelle's levels. They had gone down to 7.4, but have risen back to 10.5 since being home. If they go higher than 12, Noelle will be re-admitted to St. Vincentes.
in Him for Him,
Marla and Micah
ps. for those interested, we've posted a short video on youtube that shows the umbilical cord being cut, and Samara's first interactions with her sister. Just go to youtube, and search for "Noelle Nicole Routon"
*******************************************Cliff notes below******************************************************************** ***************
-I talk about my pregnancy with Noelle and explain the details of the complications of being RH- and not getting the rhogam shot while in Brazil. Noelle's little body is fighting the antibodies she received from me by very producing high levels of red blood cells. As these red blood cells die off they release bilirubin which causes jaundice in babies. Noelle's levels of bilirubin were very abnormally high and that is why she was in the NICU and monitored so closely. She thankfully did not have to have the blood transfusion, as her body responded to a drug that helped her pass the bilirubin through her system. We are home now and she is on a Wallaby (or bili-light) 24 hours a day and we take her in every morning for a blood test to check her bilirubin levels. The past three days she has hovered between 9.1 and 10. We are not sure how long we'll have to continue this, could be days or it could be weeks.
- The name Noelle Nicole means "victorious day of birth" and we are thankful that she is here and that she will be fine. We look forward to seeing how God will continue to write a story of victory in her life.
-You can continue to pray...we are not totally out of the woods yet. Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincent's and the doctor will reconsider the blood transfusion.
Concerning the birth of Jesus, the Gospel of Luke tells us that "Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart." (Lk. 2:19). I've often wondered just what did she treasure. What details, as a mother, did she ponder... did she hold dear. So in the retelling of the birth of our second daughter I thought it only right to let Marla be the one to tell this story. So without any further words from me, I give you the birth of Noelle Nicole, as seen from her mother's eyes.
As all of you know I have been pregnant for the last 9 months. And yes, I'm pretty happy to be able to see my toes again. During the course of the pregnancy it was discovered that this was to be a "high risk" pregnancy. The problem began because my blood type is RH-, which would not have been a problem if Micah's blood type was also RH-. Because he has a positive blood type, Samara also had a positive blood type. Again, this is pretty common, and isn't usually a problem in the United States because here, women with RH- blood are given a shot called rogahm, which works to mask the RH factor. Because most of Samara's pregnancy and her birth was in Brazil, the doctors never gave me rogahm. And somewhere at the end Samara's pregnancy, possibly at birth, my blood became exposed to her + blood type, and my body began to produce antibodies to fight this "foreign invader." This wasn't much of a problem for Samara because she was so far developed, and it took my body a while to start producing these antibodies in large quantities. Then we became pregnant with Noelle. Early in this pregnancy my immune system recognized another "foreign intruder" and began working overtime to produce these antibodies. Fast forward to about 20 weeks into this pregnancy. During the first appointment here in the states my doctor during the routine blood tests finds these abnormally high levels of antibodies. Thus began the weekly trips to the perinatal clinic for ultrasounds and doctor visits, as well as our crash course in why all this matters and what could happen to our baby as a result. There were two possible things that could have happened to Noelle in utero. One being that her system would be overwhelmed by all these antibodies killing off her red blood cells and she would develop anemia, leading to possible blood transfusions in utero. The second, and the one that did happen, was that her little immune system would work in high gear and begin producing huge levels of red blood cells to compensate for the ones my antibodies were killing off.
Fast forward to last Saturday afternoon, my mom was flying in on standby from Alaska and after watching seven flights take off without her, finally caught one that landed her in Portland at PM. We came home and were excited to have few days to spend together before Noelle arrived. But God had other plans. Only twelve hours after my mom's arrival (about 4:30am), I awoke feeling contractions that were becoming more consistent and closer together. I timed them for about an hour and they were a steady 10 minutes apart. I woke up Micah and as he was finishing packing our things for the hospital, I also woke up my Mom and she said something along the lines of "you're kidding!" As we walked in the hospital (about 7:30) the nurses were changing shifts and we saw a friend from our church who I've gotten to know through a womens prayer group. So Jamie got to be my triage nurse. A bit later after I'd walked the halls having contractions and finally got admitted and into a room we found out that my doctor, Dr. Guinn, was the one on call that day! As the hours wore on my contractions got closer and closer together. Finally at 3pm Dr Guinn broke my water and things really progressed after that. It was the most intense and difficult thing I've ever done. Micah was an awesome "coach" as he breathed with me through every contraction and knew just exactly how to help me cope. It was also so special that my Mom got to be there, she would be massaging my back while I was breathing and getting through each contraction. I got to the point where I knew that I couldn't go on for many more hours without something to help with the pain so we decided to do a dose of Fentanol which took the edge off the pain for about 1/2 an hour. I think I had that two times. I don't know how much it really helped physically but I think that mentally I thought it was helping and that made me believe I could keep going. Labor seemed to go on forever...finally I was dilated fully and the Doctor said I could start pushing. This was great as it felt like we were really getting close. I'd pushed for about an hour when the doctor said she needed to use the forceps to help Noelle's head come out. So in went the forceps and with one more big push at 8:36 pm Noelle Nicole was born. Micah cut the cord and Dr. Guinn placed her directly on my chest where the nurses rubbed and wiped at her with a towel. It really was a fabulous moment to finally be holding this little girl we've been praying for and anticipating for so long. Micah's parents, brother Ben and Samara were able to come in and meet Noelle and it was so cute to see how excited Samara was to meet baby Noelle. And compared to our experience in Brazil this was SOOO much better. The nurses were super helpful, and we felt very supported and well taken care of.
Noelle spent that first night in our room where I was able to hold her and feed her and snuggle her. First thing the following morning they did a blood test and we found out that her bilirubin count was high at 9.4 and she needed to be admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). By Monday afternoon she was in the level 2 of the NICU (the higher the number...the higher the danger...3 is the max) under the blue lights that help break down the bilirubin in the skin so it could be passed from her body through her digestive system. It was really hard to not be able to hold her and snuggle her. We could only take her out about every three hours for 1/2 an hour to feed her. They began testing Noelle's blood every 6-12 hours to monitor her bilirubin levels more closely. On Tuesday morning I was discharged from the hospital, but the nurse got permission for us to "board" at the hospital while Noelle was in NICU. That meant that they found a room that wasn't being used across the hall from the NICU and we were able to stay in it. It had a bed, a tv and a bathroom. They let us use it with the understanding that as soon as it was needed for another patient we'd be kicked out. It was so wonderful to be able to be right there and see Noelle whenever we wanted to and to hold her little hands and to pray over her and to be able to nurse her. They tested her again Tuesday morning her count had risen to 10.4. By Wednesday morning it was at 16.4 and by that evening the it had level jumped again to 18.9. What the pediatrician couldn't figure out is that even after having received intense photo therapy for almost 36 hours, her bilirubin count continued to climb. It was at that point that the doctor transferred care to a neonatalogist who had been called in especially to care for Noelle. Our neonatalogist was named Dr Newman. Dr Newman was wonderful as she came into our room and explained everything in great detail. From what we remember, she said that Noelle's bilirubin levels were alarmingly high, even with the photo therapy because her problem was concentrated in the blood. She said that Noelle was born with the number of antibodies (from me) in her little system, but her little body had been attaining equilibrium in utero by producing a high number of red blood cells. The thing is, after she was born, she was no longer receiving more antibodies from me, but her body didn't know this for a while, so her immune system was continuing to crank out a high number of red blood cells. Those red blood cells filled her body and then would die. These cells were being produced and dying so fast, that her liver couldn't process them out as fast as they were dying. So they were building up in her system. As those blood cells died and burst open they released a substance called bilirubin that is yellow in color thus causing the jaundiced yellow skin color. High levels of bilirubin can have very serious and permanent effects of brain damage, deafness, seizures and even mental retardation. These begin to happen with levels near 25. Dr Newman was not wanting to get any closer to those numbers and said we needed to intervene right away. She said that Noelle's bilirubin count already warranted a blood transfer and had even ordered the blood from the blood bank before coming to talk to us. A blood exchange in a newborn is taking all of her blood out via a vein in her umbilical cord, while at the same time slowly injecting in somebody else's blood through an artery in her umbilical chord. St Vincent is a huge hospital with the largest NICU in the state. There are about 600 babies born there each month, and even so, this transfusion procedure is very rare. Dr. Newman said they only do "several a year." She said it takes about three hours for the blood to be ready and that in the meantime there was one other treatment (IV IG) they were going to try where they give Noelle a drug through an IV in her umbilical cord that helps to kind of coagulate the bilirubin so her little body can pass it out more efficiently. This was all very emotional for Micah and I, we knew there were so many risks and all we coud do was pray and trust that God was in control. At that point Noelle had already been transferred to the third and highest level of the NICU. As Dr. Newman handed us documents to sign authorizing such a procedure we began to realize how very serious Noelle's condition was or could become. I cried in Micah's arms multiple times and while we were so very thankful to be where Noelle had great care. It was so hard to watch her little body laying there knowing the fight that was going on inside of her. Needless to say we were all for Dr Newman doing whatever she needed to help Noelle.
Surprisingly, IV IG drug treatment helped. After the first treatment was given late Wednesday night (it takes several hours to administer the treatment), her levels had dropped to 17. Dr. Newman was pleased enough to call off the transfusion for the time being and to give Noelle one more dose of the IV IG the next morning. As it turned out, when the doctor tried to put in the IVs in Noelle's umbilical cord, it was already too dried up to access the veins and arteries there so they had to give her an the IV through the soft spot in her head. The second dose of the IV IG, going in again through that IV in her head, brought her bilirubin levels down and it did not look like Noelle would need the transfusion after all. PRAISE GOD!!
During all this time Micah and I were totally supported by so many of you, family and friends who were praying for us and for Noelle and even a few who came to visit. One thing that was so wonderful was that between the two Grammas, Samara was totally being taken care of. She was in her own home, with her toys and bed and normal routine. This made it so much easier on me, not having to worry about Samara. Yes, it broke my heart each time she came to visit and would cry when she had to say goodbye. However I knew without a doubt that she was totally fine, and that as soon as the elevator doors closed she'd stop crying and be having fun with her "maamaw and maamaw laska". And as for my mother, she said that she was in "Gramma heaven," finally getting so spend so much one on one time with Samara.
Thursday Noelle was monitored and her levels had continued to drop, and she was moved back to level 2 in the NICU. They had done the IV IG and now they removed on of the big lights from above her so see what would happen to her bilirubin levels. We could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Friday we were just waiting and watching to see what her levels would do and what the Dr would say. They were hovering around 9.5. We knew that she might have to be in the hospital for several more days, and we were so thankful and amazed that we'd been able to board in the hospital all this time. Saturday morning after we went in for her normal morning feeding, the nurses called to say the neonatalogist that was on call was there to talk to us. Dr Kemp told us that Noelle's levels were looking good and that he was going to release her to go home!!! We were totally surprised, in a good way, and so thankful. It took nearly 5 more hours to actually be released. The hospital code of "hurry up and wait." The one condition in bringing her home was that we had to get a Wallaby (portable bili-light blanket) to bring home with us and she had to have it on her 24 hours a day. So we had to wait for it to be delivered from somewhere in the depths of the hospital. There was the normal checklist of things to go over and finally at about 2pm a NICU nurse escorted us to the front doors and helped into the car. It was a great moment to drive away and have Noelle safely strapped into her car seat behind us.
We arrived home to grandparents armed with cameras to document Noelle's arrival. I think they were happy to see Micah and I too =0) It's been great to be home and sleep in our own bed and eat good food and have our little family together again. Samara is pretty enthralled with baby Noelle and loves to help with everything. She is a great big sister and transitioning really well to this new addition to the family.
We still have Noelle on the Wallaby and we have to take her every morning to the hospital for a blood test. The last two days she has been barely under 10 in her bilirubin count, so she is holding steady. We do not know how long this will go on, it could be days or it could be weeks. We are just taking one day at a time and are thankful for all or the support, emails, cards, gifts and prayers that all of you have sent our way. It's been an emotional week, but we've seen and experienced God's faithfulness in such personal ways this week. He's met every need and taken care of every detail. From my Mom arriving in time for the birth and being here to help with Samara, to my Doctor being the one on call, to catching the high levels of bilirubin so early, to a great neonatalogist, to being able to room in at the hospital the whole time, to Noelle eating well. Over and over we've seen God's hand in this situation and we praise Him for his goodness to us.
When I became pregnant with Noelle I spent a lot of time praying about this little one and who she would be and specifically what her name should be. I'd go on long walks and think and pray for both Samara and for this new little life growing inside of me. There was a word that the Lord pressed on my heart for Noelle when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. It was the word victory. I shared this with Micah and of course we got online and looked up all kinds of names that had the word victory or victorious in the meaning. But we just didn't really like any of them. I also had fear in my heart that if this baby's name had the meaning of victory that she would have difficult things in her life to be victorious over. I was afraid of what that might mean. So I just pushed the prompting from the Lord to the back of my mind and we looked at all kinds of other names for this baby. But nothing seemed right. five or six weeks later Micah and I were talking and he said he really liked the name Noelle but it means "day of birth" which didn't seem very cool at the time. Then after we found out about all the possible complications with this pregnancy we came back to the word victory as it seemed that God new what He was talking about after all in that being the word pressed on my heart. In our looking we came upon the name Nicole which means "victory for the people" and we liked the idea of combining the names Noelle and Nicole for the general meaning of "a victorious day of birth." Her birth was indeed wonderful in that she is now here and we can hold her and love on her and be delighted in her. While there were some scary and sketchy times in that first week we are thankful for the victorious day of her birth and we look forward to seeing how she will live out a life of victory as God continue to write His story through her life.
Thank you all for your prayers, and we'll do our best to keep you informed in the coming days. Our plan is still to head to Alaska as soon as Noelle can travel, but we're just not sure when that will be so we'll be in Oregon at least a few more weeks. We are not totally out of the woods yet, Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincents. So please keep praying for her and we will do our best to keep you informed. Please feel free to write or call or if you are in the area to stop by we'd love to hear from you all. Also please continue to pray for little Noelle's levels. They had gone down to 7.4, but have risen back to 10.5 since being home. If they go higher than 12, Noelle will be re-admitted to St. Vincentes.
in Him for Him,
Marla and Micah
ps. for those interested, we've posted a short video on youtube that shows the umbilical cord being cut, and Samara's first interactions with her sister. Just go to youtube, and search for "Noelle Nicole Routon"
*******************************************Cliff notes below******************************************************************** ***************
-I talk about my pregnancy with Noelle and explain the details of the complications of being RH- and not getting the rhogam shot while in Brazil. Noelle's little body is fighting the antibodies she received from me by very producing high levels of red blood cells. As these red blood cells die off they release bilirubin which causes jaundice in babies. Noelle's levels of bilirubin were very abnormally high and that is why she was in the NICU and monitored so closely. She thankfully did not have to have the blood transfusion, as her body responded to a drug that helped her pass the bilirubin through her system. We are home now and she is on a Wallaby (or bili-light) 24 hours a day and we take her in every morning for a blood test to check her bilirubin levels. The past three days she has hovered between 9.1 and 10. We are not sure how long we'll have to continue this, could be days or it could be weeks.
- The name Noelle Nicole means "victorious day of birth" and we are thankful that she is here and that she will be fine. We look forward to seeing how God will continue to write a story of victory in her life.
-You can continue to pray...we are not totally out of the woods yet. Noelle has been home for 4 days and her levels have been slowly going up from 9.5 on Sunday to 10.5 today. If she gets back up to 12 she will be re admitted to the NICU at St Vincent's and the doctor will reconsider the blood transfusion.
Jan. 7, 2009 - Micah's 95 Theses
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The Word of God is an amazing thing. Sometimes He uses His word to
encourage, sometimes he uses His word to guide and direct, and sometimes
He uses His word to chastise and discipline. But our response to His
word can also be an amazing thing. Sometimes we listen intently,
sometimes we don't understand, and sometimes we brush aside what we don't
like. It is to our own detriment if we don't clearly understand that
God's word is either 100% true it's not. It is much like the people who
say that Jesus Christ was a good man but not God Himself. The two
phrases are not coherent together. If you believe Jesus Christ was a
good man, how could you believe that He intentionally lied about who he
was to all of his believers when he told them that "the Father and I are
one?" No, no, no, if you believe that Jesus Christ was truly a good man,
you have to believe that his words were true, and that he was who he
claimed to be. Believing one, requires the other. In the same way, when
we believe that God took serious His words of warning or of discipline,
we will also believe that He took seriously His words of love and
encouragement. When we open the door to possible "clauses" or exceptions
to God's words of warning or discipline to us, we also consequently
weaken the power of His other words of comfort and grace. Either God's
word is 100% true, or it's not.
As you know, we've been back from Brazil for almost 4 months now. Our
transition back to American culture hasn't been without it's share of
bumps and bruises. And, it was often funny what things stuck out to us
as strange from this place we call home. Things like how quiet the city
streets are, and how awkward it feels to eat a whole meal with only a
fork. There were other things that were more serious as well, some of
which I have hesitated to share. Impressions and observations of aspects
of a culture which used to define my identity, now drive me crazy or make
me sad. Aspects of American Christianity, or perhaps only Northwest
Christianity, or perhaps Portland, Oregon-ish Christianity, or perhaps it
is only the typical "Christian" mentality that I have encountered in
various people I have met since being back. I have not written about
such things because I do not want to paint "the American Church" with
broad sweeping generalizations, and I do not want to pretend I am an
expert on something I am not. But more than that, I have not wanted to
share any negative impressions that I may have out of a growing respect
for the Church (big "C" here). It was not always so with me.
As one who had been wounded by churches in the past, I used to think it
my duty to speak out against them. But then a few years ago, I came to a
realization that changed all of this. The Bible calls the Church the
bride of Christ. And regardless of her current outward appearance, I
still believe that she is the future wife of Christ. And, I also know
that most fiancées don't take kindly to people talking smack about their
future wives. So right then and there, I decided that I had better keep
my mouth closed on the subject. But then last night, in the midst of a
restless night, I felt lead to share some of these impressions. Please
keep in mind that these impressions are not related to all believers or
even all churches....So here goes...
Put quite bluntly, I can't believe the extent that a worldly mind set has
entered the Church. Perhaps because we have historically been a
Christian nation, we as a nation have slowly been lulled to accept that
here in America, the world and the church aren't really two different
things. But they are. It seems increasingly harder and harder for
average Joe Christian to differentiate between biblical principles and
American values. "The pursuit of happiness," though guaranteed by our
constitution, is not a right defined by the Bible for every believer. In
contrast, Paul writes that "all that live godly in Christ Jesus will
suffer." "Liberty and justice for all" is also a great American concept
which is not in the Bible. Though God does promise his eventual justice,
when Jesus spoke of a foreign government forcing people to do something
(Matt 5:41) and walk one mile, he instructed his followers to walk two.
Something about that just feels wrong, but it's what the Bible says. "The
dignity of every man" and the "inherit goodness of each person" is a
concept that goes against what the Bible says in Psalms that "there is
none that do good, not one." And again in Romans 3:23 when Paul writes
for "all have sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God."
So what do we do when such contrasts become apparent between cultural
values and biblical principles? To which side are we drawn? To which
side do we commit ourselves? The bigger question that lies at the heart
of all of these questions, connecting them together: whom do we fear
more; man or God? A generation or two ago pastors and evangelists
preached of fire and brimstone. They spoke of coming judgement and
seemingly scared a lot of people into becoming Christians. Now it seems
that the pendulum has swung the other way. Grace, mercy and love is the
message that now seem to iminate from preaching pulpits and bumper
stickers. The media has also picked up on this, and when it does portray
God, it is usually portrays some nice guy dressed in white clothes
talking to Joe blow off of the street. And I love this accurate
depiction of Him: caring, good humored, never in a hurry and
approachable. But what do we do with those who in the Bible approached
God and died on the spot because they were not ready, or they were
unclean? As much as my heart wants to jump in Jesus's arms when I get to
heaven, I can't find a Biblical example of this happening. In most
heavenly depictions of people with God, they start either on their knees
or on their faces, not in His arms or talking causally. Hum? Through
songs, books or other media, popular Christianity today seems stuck like
a record on the grace and love song. Don't get me wrong, the grace of
God is profound and beyond comprehension, and I am so thankful and
unworthy of it. I don't want to take anything away from the love
relationship that God has with His people. The problem is that God is
full of grace and love while remaining righteous and holy. Our minds
can't quiet get around it. With Him, it is not one or the other. He is
both at the same time. One not diminishing the other, but enhancing the
other. Our minds can't quite grasp it so we naturally tend to gravitate
towards one extreme or the other. The "fire and brimstone" sermons of
two generations ago would seem quite out of place in most church
sanctuaries of today, yet there they belong. These sermons of yester
year describe God just as accurately as the intimate songs of worship
that we sing today. However, we don't hear these sermons anymore. We
choose to focus on the other "more appealing" aspects of God. And in
doing so, bit by bit, we lose our fear of the Most Holy. So, when it
comes to making those daily decisions, the fear that dominates us more
than the fear of God, is the fear of man. The result is that our
actions are motivated more to satisfy, please and impress our neighbors,
our friends, or our families than God. "God is good, all the time" is
what is said in our churches, but the other side of this way of thinking
is "so I'll just ask His forgiveness after I sin." Our fear of God is
faltering. When was the last time you heard your pastor stand up and say
"be ye perfect," as the crowd responds back "as I am perfect." Our fear
of God is faltering, and our behavior reflects it. The Bible calls the
fear of God the beginning of wisdom. So, in an age when knowledge
abounds, it would seem that with the fear of God true wisdom is
disappearing. And, our families, our churches and our nation are
beginning to reflect this.
In our effort to please people, it seems that too often our modern
churches try to morph biblically solid doctrine into what they perceive
people want hear. In an effort to attract more people, modern American
Christianity can easily be seen imitating the world. If something is hot
in the secular world, it seems only a matter of time before the
evangelical world will have their version of it. If you don't believe me
just go into a store that commercializes Christian faith. From Christian
boy bands to Christian video games, one doesn't have to look far in the
evangelical world to see the truth in this "chasing after" mentality.
We follow the crowds hoping that they'll come to our churches, believing
in our hearts that our churches being full will validate God's approval
of what we are doing in His name. Yet, this mentality that is so evident
in the church of today, seems to ignore the fact that Jesus said in Matt.
7:14 "narrow is the way which leads to life and few find it." We somehow
believe that these statements were not made for us or for our churches.
We desperately hope that Jesus was talking about other countries, other
churches, other people or other times., but not for us... not for today.
So we try to be selective on what we preach, selective on what we teach,
selective on what we say We use words that are politically correct so as
to not offend people and risk them not coming back to our congregations.
We accept them as they are, as Christ did, but then we water down His
truth so they are not changed. And when His truth has been watered
down... we ourselves are not forced to change. We are not forced to
choose between our old life where we had "freedom" to sin, and our new
life where we are called to be "slaves" to Christ. And without this
"coming of age" experience (putting off our old selves and putting on
Christ), though we may well know the binding slavery that is inherent
when we act "free to sin", we will never experience how being slaves of
Christ and dying to self actually ushers in life in abundance. We miss
out.
In our chasing after, in our watering down of God's word, we are salt
that is loosing it's saltiness. We become, as Jesus Himself said, good
for nothing. I realize these are harsh words, but sometimes we forget
that in the Gospels Jesus often taught with harsh words. Why did Jesus
make more references to hell than he did to heaven during His earthly
ministry? Why did Jesus not refrain from using fear to motivate?
Because He knew that fear can be a great motivator. Even writing that
last sentence seemed a little sacrilegious to my flesh. Scare people to
living correctly? Is that right? God is so good, and a Holy life has so
many benefits of it's own, so why not attract people to that goodness.
Because we as humans have a tendency to be lazy, and react only to that
which we see as most pressing. Think about it. We all know we SHOULD
eat a balanced diet and get exercise, but by and large, it is not until
we hear from the doctor that we are inches away from a heart attack that
we REALLY begin to change our behavior. Human nature tends to react most
to that which is screaming for attention; and fear screams for attention.
This is understood outside of the spiritual realm. Advertisers
capitalize on this concept to sell their products. And in fact there is
a level of fear that is healthy. Fear of getting hurt keeps us from
touching hot stoves, or jumping the fence at the zoo to go and pet the
pretty lions. We believe in having fire codes, immunizations, and
insurance policies because of the fear that things could go wrong. And,
indeed, it would be most unwise to opt out of these things because things
do, in fact, go wrong. So why does it feel so sacrilegious these days to
talk about fear and God? Have we embraced too readily our interpretation
of the "there is no fear in love" verse, and discarded all the verses
that talk of the benefits of fearing God. Has our generation built it's
theology so firmly around "God is love" that we have no room for "God is
just?" Do we intellectually plug our ears to God's warnings by
explaining away why His unsavory words don't apply to us? Look at our
churches, and look what is becoming normal. Our lines are becoming
grayed, because we fear what others may think or say about us more than
we fear God.
The result is that we live in confusion, neither hot or cold. It makes
me sad. Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. I'm not saying we
should be brutal with the truth, beating people with "what the bible
says." This e-mail is not written for nonbelievers. This e-mail is
written for us who believe in Jesus, and is focused on how we deal with
God's word, AND His holiness. What our attitude is when we are corrected
or chastised? Education is a choice. Two different people may face
identical situations, one may choose to learn from it, and the other may
not. Do we allow ourselves to be taught? When God's Word says something
that we don't want to agree with, what is our attitude? Do we have to be
right at all costs? Do we realize that God is God and we are not? Do we
demand that He prove something to us. As my pastor used to say "do we
judge the scriptures or do we let the scriptures judge us?" It's a
reaction or attitude that boils down to a simple matter of fear. And,
our lives will, for eternity, reflect the answer to this simple question:
'whom do we fear most?'
in Him, for Him
Micah and Marla
ps. The attatched pictures are some pictures we took of Marla's
pregancy. Thank you for your prayers for this pregnancy, so the weekly
untrasounds haven't shown any anemia. 10 weeks to go!
**********************Cliffnotes: Micah's 95
Theses**************************************************
In this e-mail I fel led to share some impressions that I have had about
American Christianity since returning from Brazil. I think that what
lies at the root of many of the problems that we expirience in today's
American Church is that we, as a people have lost our fear of God. For a
generation or so, we have been focusing so much on God's attributes of
love and mercy, we have largely ignored His holiness and justice. And the
results of this mentality are staggering.
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The Word of God is an amazing thing. Sometimes He uses His word to
encourage, sometimes he uses His word to guide and direct, and sometimes
He uses His word to chastise and discipline. But our response to His
word can also be an amazing thing. Sometimes we listen intently,
sometimes we don't understand, and sometimes we brush aside what we don't
like. It is to our own detriment if we don't clearly understand that
God's word is either 100% true it's not. It is much like the people who
say that Jesus Christ was a good man but not God Himself. The two
phrases are not coherent together. If you believe Jesus Christ was a
good man, how could you believe that He intentionally lied about who he
was to all of his believers when he told them that "the Father and I are
one?" No, no, no, if you believe that Jesus Christ was truly a good man,
you have to believe that his words were true, and that he was who he
claimed to be. Believing one, requires the other. In the same way, when
we believe that God took serious His words of warning or of discipline,
we will also believe that He took seriously His words of love and
encouragement. When we open the door to possible "clauses" or exceptions
to God's words of warning or discipline to us, we also consequently
weaken the power of His other words of comfort and grace. Either God's
word is 100% true, or it's not.
As you know, we've been back from Brazil for almost 4 months now. Our
transition back to American culture hasn't been without it's share of
bumps and bruises. And, it was often funny what things stuck out to us
as strange from this place we call home. Things like how quiet the city
streets are, and how awkward it feels to eat a whole meal with only a
fork. There were other things that were more serious as well, some of
which I have hesitated to share. Impressions and observations of aspects
of a culture which used to define my identity, now drive me crazy or make
me sad. Aspects of American Christianity, or perhaps only Northwest
Christianity, or perhaps Portland, Oregon-ish Christianity, or perhaps it
is only the typical "Christian" mentality that I have encountered in
various people I have met since being back. I have not written about
such things because I do not want to paint "the American Church" with
broad sweeping generalizations, and I do not want to pretend I am an
expert on something I am not. But more than that, I have not wanted to
share any negative impressions that I may have out of a growing respect
for the Church (big "C" here). It was not always so with me.
As one who had been wounded by churches in the past, I used to think it
my duty to speak out against them. But then a few years ago, I came to a
realization that changed all of this. The Bible calls the Church the
bride of Christ. And regardless of her current outward appearance, I
still believe that she is the future wife of Christ. And, I also know
that most fiancées don't take kindly to people talking smack about their
future wives. So right then and there, I decided that I had better keep
my mouth closed on the subject. But then last night, in the midst of a
restless night, I felt lead to share some of these impressions. Please
keep in mind that these impressions are not related to all believers or
even all churches....So here goes...
Put quite bluntly, I can't believe the extent that a worldly mind set has
entered the Church. Perhaps because we have historically been a
Christian nation, we as a nation have slowly been lulled to accept that
here in America, the world and the church aren't really two different
things. But they are. It seems increasingly harder and harder for
average Joe Christian to differentiate between biblical principles and
American values. "The pursuit of happiness," though guaranteed by our
constitution, is not a right defined by the Bible for every believer. In
contrast, Paul writes that "all that live godly in Christ Jesus will
suffer." "Liberty and justice for all" is also a great American concept
which is not in the Bible. Though God does promise his eventual justice,
when Jesus spoke of a foreign government forcing people to do something
(Matt 5:41) and walk one mile, he instructed his followers to walk two.
Something about that just feels wrong, but it's what the Bible says. "The
dignity of every man" and the "inherit goodness of each person" is a
concept that goes against what the Bible says in Psalms that "there is
none that do good, not one." And again in Romans 3:23 when Paul writes
for "all have sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God."
So what do we do when such contrasts become apparent between cultural
values and biblical principles? To which side are we drawn? To which
side do we commit ourselves? The bigger question that lies at the heart
of all of these questions, connecting them together: whom do we fear
more; man or God? A generation or two ago pastors and evangelists
preached of fire and brimstone. They spoke of coming judgement and
seemingly scared a lot of people into becoming Christians. Now it seems
that the pendulum has swung the other way. Grace, mercy and love is the
message that now seem to iminate from preaching pulpits and bumper
stickers. The media has also picked up on this, and when it does portray
God, it is usually portrays some nice guy dressed in white clothes
talking to Joe blow off of the street. And I love this accurate
depiction of Him: caring, good humored, never in a hurry and
approachable. But what do we do with those who in the Bible approached
God and died on the spot because they were not ready, or they were
unclean? As much as my heart wants to jump in Jesus's arms when I get to
heaven, I can't find a Biblical example of this happening. In most
heavenly depictions of people with God, they start either on their knees
or on their faces, not in His arms or talking causally. Hum? Through
songs, books or other media, popular Christianity today seems stuck like
a record on the grace and love song. Don't get me wrong, the grace of
God is profound and beyond comprehension, and I am so thankful and
unworthy of it. I don't want to take anything away from the love
relationship that God has with His people. The problem is that God is
full of grace and love while remaining righteous and holy. Our minds
can't quiet get around it. With Him, it is not one or the other. He is
both at the same time. One not diminishing the other, but enhancing the
other. Our minds can't quite grasp it so we naturally tend to gravitate
towards one extreme or the other. The "fire and brimstone" sermons of
two generations ago would seem quite out of place in most church
sanctuaries of today, yet there they belong. These sermons of yester
year describe God just as accurately as the intimate songs of worship
that we sing today. However, we don't hear these sermons anymore. We
choose to focus on the other "more appealing" aspects of God. And in
doing so, bit by bit, we lose our fear of the Most Holy. So, when it
comes to making those daily decisions, the fear that dominates us more
than the fear of God, is the fear of man. The result is that our
actions are motivated more to satisfy, please and impress our neighbors,
our friends, or our families than God. "God is good, all the time" is
what is said in our churches, but the other side of this way of thinking
is "so I'll just ask His forgiveness after I sin." Our fear of God is
faltering. When was the last time you heard your pastor stand up and say
"be ye perfect," as the crowd responds back "as I am perfect." Our fear
of God is faltering, and our behavior reflects it. The Bible calls the
fear of God the beginning of wisdom. So, in an age when knowledge
abounds, it would seem that with the fear of God true wisdom is
disappearing. And, our families, our churches and our nation are
beginning to reflect this.
In our effort to please people, it seems that too often our modern
churches try to morph biblically solid doctrine into what they perceive
people want hear. In an effort to attract more people, modern American
Christianity can easily be seen imitating the world. If something is hot
in the secular world, it seems only a matter of time before the
evangelical world will have their version of it. If you don't believe me
just go into a store that commercializes Christian faith. From Christian
boy bands to Christian video games, one doesn't have to look far in the
evangelical world to see the truth in this "chasing after" mentality.
We follow the crowds hoping that they'll come to our churches, believing
in our hearts that our churches being full will validate God's approval
of what we are doing in His name. Yet, this mentality that is so evident
in the church of today, seems to ignore the fact that Jesus said in Matt.
7:14 "narrow is the way which leads to life and few find it." We somehow
believe that these statements were not made for us or for our churches.
We desperately hope that Jesus was talking about other countries, other
churches, other people or other times., but not for us... not for today.
So we try to be selective on what we preach, selective on what we teach,
selective on what we say We use words that are politically correct so as
to not offend people and risk them not coming back to our congregations.
We accept them as they are, as Christ did, but then we water down His
truth so they are not changed. And when His truth has been watered
down... we ourselves are not forced to change. We are not forced to
choose between our old life where we had "freedom" to sin, and our new
life where we are called to be "slaves" to Christ. And without this
"coming of age" experience (putting off our old selves and putting on
Christ), though we may well know the binding slavery that is inherent
when we act "free to sin", we will never experience how being slaves of
Christ and dying to self actually ushers in life in abundance. We miss
out.
In our chasing after, in our watering down of God's word, we are salt
that is loosing it's saltiness. We become, as Jesus Himself said, good
for nothing. I realize these are harsh words, but sometimes we forget
that in the Gospels Jesus often taught with harsh words. Why did Jesus
make more references to hell than he did to heaven during His earthly
ministry? Why did Jesus not refrain from using fear to motivate?
Because He knew that fear can be a great motivator. Even writing that
last sentence seemed a little sacrilegious to my flesh. Scare people to
living correctly? Is that right? God is so good, and a Holy life has so
many benefits of it's own, so why not attract people to that goodness.
Because we as humans have a tendency to be lazy, and react only to that
which we see as most pressing. Think about it. We all know we SHOULD
eat a balanced diet and get exercise, but by and large, it is not until
we hear from the doctor that we are inches away from a heart attack that
we REALLY begin to change our behavior. Human nature tends to react most
to that which is screaming for attention; and fear screams for attention.
This is understood outside of the spiritual realm. Advertisers
capitalize on this concept to sell their products. And in fact there is
a level of fear that is healthy. Fear of getting hurt keeps us from
touching hot stoves, or jumping the fence at the zoo to go and pet the
pretty lions. We believe in having fire codes, immunizations, and
insurance policies because of the fear that things could go wrong. And,
indeed, it would be most unwise to opt out of these things because things
do, in fact, go wrong. So why does it feel so sacrilegious these days to
talk about fear and God? Have we embraced too readily our interpretation
of the "there is no fear in love" verse, and discarded all the verses
that talk of the benefits of fearing God. Has our generation built it's
theology so firmly around "God is love" that we have no room for "God is
just?" Do we intellectually plug our ears to God's warnings by
explaining away why His unsavory words don't apply to us? Look at our
churches, and look what is becoming normal. Our lines are becoming
grayed, because we fear what others may think or say about us more than
we fear God.
The result is that we live in confusion, neither hot or cold. It makes
me sad. Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. I'm not saying we
should be brutal with the truth, beating people with "what the bible
says." This e-mail is not written for nonbelievers. This e-mail is
written for us who believe in Jesus, and is focused on how we deal with
God's word, AND His holiness. What our attitude is when we are corrected
or chastised? Education is a choice. Two different people may face
identical situations, one may choose to learn from it, and the other may
not. Do we allow ourselves to be taught? When God's Word says something
that we don't want to agree with, what is our attitude? Do we have to be
right at all costs? Do we realize that God is God and we are not? Do we
demand that He prove something to us. As my pastor used to say "do we
judge the scriptures or do we let the scriptures judge us?" It's a
reaction or attitude that boils down to a simple matter of fear. And,
our lives will, for eternity, reflect the answer to this simple question:
'whom do we fear most?'
in Him, for Him
Micah and Marla
ps. The attatched pictures are some pictures we took of Marla's
pregancy. Thank you for your prayers for this pregnancy, so the weekly
untrasounds haven't shown any anemia. 10 weeks to go!
**********************Cliffnotes: Micah's 95
Theses**************************************************
In this e-mail I fel led to share some impressions that I have had about
American Christianity since returning from Brazil. I think that what
lies at the root of many of the problems that we expirience in today's
American Church is that we, as a people have lost our fear of God. For a
generation or so, we have been focusing so much on God's attributes of
love and mercy, we have largely ignored His holiness and justice. And the
results of this mentality are staggering.
*************************************************************************
**********************
Dec. 1, 2008 - Walking in the Dark
*****No Cliffnotes: Micah writting about walking by faith, even when it doesn't make sense******
It's been a real answer to many prayers that Marla and I have been able to remain in God's peace these past couple of months, and for those prayers we thank all of you. It's not that times have been particularly hard for us, there are just a lot of unknowns in front of us. We are facing a lot of things that we cannot control, and the way things play out will greatly effect our lives. Not our lives "down the road sometime," theoretically, but immediately. We know this peace that engulfs us is an answer to prayer from God and not just willfully pushing out of our consciousness the questions that we don't have answers for. Because each time someone asks us "so what's next for you guys?" we are faced once again with the uncertainty of these days; we are faced once again with these questions that don't yet have answers, and we are not scared. We are not anxious. We know how we would like things to go, we have our ideas, our goals. Things like:
We will be funded by June of 2009, we will be returning to Brazil in July of 2009, we will work at starting a new church when we arrive, we will be successful. Other things like Noel will be born without problems in February here in Portland, she will be ready to travel by March and we will live in Alaska from March to June. For each one of these plans that I have just mentioned, there are about 1 million "what ifs" that could lead us in different directions. What if Noel isn't born healthy? What if she has a sever complication? What if she'll never be able to live in a place without the most modern medical facilities? What if Noel is not granted her Brazilian visa? What if we can't get back into the Brazil? What if we can't raise the support we need because of the economic situation? There is literally no end to such questions, and no limit to how many times they can run through our heads if we would but agree to entertain them. But God's Word is good, and He has confirmed so many times to me lately just to continue to trust our future to Him.
The first time was when I started to worry, God brought to mind in the 14th chapter of John. In the text, Jesus had just predicted his own death and the desertion of all of the disciples, and then He encourages them with these words: "Do not LET your hearts be troubled, trust in God. Trust also in me." The words "DO NOT LET," in particular stood out to me. This is not a passive verb, but an active verb. It would seem, from the text, that our hearts natural tendency is to be troubled. We are to actively "not let" it be so. And all of this is done, according to the text, by trust. Trusting God, and trusting Christ.
A few weeks ago in my morning devotions, God spoke to me again as I was reading through the book of Isaiah in my Portuguese Bible. In verse 16 of chapter 28, my version reads "Quem tem fé, não tem medo." Which translated means: "Who has faith, does not have fear." So it would seem from this verse, that the degree of peace that we have in our lives corresponds to the degree that we believe that Romans 8:28 "that all things work together for good to them that love God."
Then, more recently, reading on in Isaiah again I came across a very interesting verse that I had never seen before (or at least had never stuck out to me before in the whole area of faith for the future) And this verse was the doozie. Isaiah 50:10-11 reads: "Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God. Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow."
As I read this verse, I noticed two groups of people who were in the same situation. Both groups were in the dark, and both groups were walking. It might even be argued that both groups were in the dark BECAUSE they had obeyed the voice of God's servant. But the first continued walk even though he couldn't see, because he trusted God. And the others tried to "keep walking" on their own terms. They had to understand the darkness, they had to "see" what they were passing though, they had to know what lay ahead before they could take another step. Of the two groups, the second group was more informed, they were better prepared, and yet it was they who ended in sorrow. It would seem that both groups were doing the will of God (obeying the voice of God's servant and walking) but the second group did it on their own terms. And in the end, they ended in sorrow. There are all kinds of Biblical examples of this. Abraham jumps to mind. He was a guy who trusted God for most of his life with huge decisions. He walked in the dark without a light for so long. But when he tried to light his own torch (to make God's promise of a son happen on his terms), he ended up sorry for that decision. Moses also comes to mind. He was a man that saw the oppression of his people, and as a prince of Egypt tried to do something about it on his own terms in his own timing, only to be expelled to 40 years of tending sheep before God was ready to use him. These were men of faith. These were people God greatly used. They were called by God and responded to his voice. But what did they do when they entered the darkness (perhaps for the thousandth time)? Did they continue to walk in their calling even though they didn't have the answers? Or, when it became dark, or they became tired of the darkness did they "take inventory of the situation" first, and do what was prudent? Did they do what made sense? And then I remember that often history judges men far different than how God judges men.
So as these days grow dark economically, perhaps politically. As those of us trying to follow God hear of wars, and rumors of wars, what is our response? Do we make a plan, do we make our own provisions, or do we keep walking though we don't know what is around the corner, trusting God to sustain us. One choice make sense to the world, and one does not. So Marla and I choose to walk on in darkness, encouraged by the power of your prayers and encouraged by comfort of God's word. Not because we can see the future, but because we can remember God's faithfulness to us in the past. And because we trust in His goodness.
Thank you for your prayers,
in Him, for Him,
Micah and Marla
It's been a real answer to many prayers that Marla and I have been able to remain in God's peace these past couple of months, and for those prayers we thank all of you. It's not that times have been particularly hard for us, there are just a lot of unknowns in front of us. We are facing a lot of things that we cannot control, and the way things play out will greatly effect our lives. Not our lives "down the road sometime," theoretically, but immediately. We know this peace that engulfs us is an answer to prayer from God and not just willfully pushing out of our consciousness the questions that we don't have answers for. Because each time someone asks us "so what's next for you guys?" we are faced once again with the uncertainty of these days; we are faced once again with these questions that don't yet have answers, and we are not scared. We are not anxious. We know how we would like things to go, we have our ideas, our goals. Things like:
We will be funded by June of 2009, we will be returning to Brazil in July of 2009, we will work at starting a new church when we arrive, we will be successful. Other things like Noel will be born without problems in February here in Portland, she will be ready to travel by March and we will live in Alaska from March to June. For each one of these plans that I have just mentioned, there are about 1 million "what ifs" that could lead us in different directions. What if Noel isn't born healthy? What if she has a sever complication? What if she'll never be able to live in a place without the most modern medical facilities? What if Noel is not granted her Brazilian visa? What if we can't get back into the Brazil? What if we can't raise the support we need because of the economic situation? There is literally no end to such questions, and no limit to how many times they can run through our heads if we would but agree to entertain them. But God's Word is good, and He has confirmed so many times to me lately just to continue to trust our future to Him.
The first time was when I started to worry, God brought to mind in the 14th chapter of John. In the text, Jesus had just predicted his own death and the desertion of all of the disciples, and then He encourages them with these words: "Do not LET your hearts be troubled, trust in God. Trust also in me." The words "DO NOT LET," in particular stood out to me. This is not a passive verb, but an active verb. It would seem, from the text, that our hearts natural tendency is to be troubled. We are to actively "not let" it be so. And all of this is done, according to the text, by trust. Trusting God, and trusting Christ.
A few weeks ago in my morning devotions, God spoke to me again as I was reading through the book of Isaiah in my Portuguese Bible. In verse 16 of chapter 28, my version reads "Quem tem fé, não tem medo." Which translated means: "Who has faith, does not have fear." So it would seem from this verse, that the degree of peace that we have in our lives corresponds to the degree that we believe that Romans 8:28 "that all things work together for good to them that love God."
Then, more recently, reading on in Isaiah again I came across a very interesting verse that I had never seen before (or at least had never stuck out to me before in the whole area of faith for the future) And this verse was the doozie. Isaiah 50:10-11 reads: "Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God. Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow."
As I read this verse, I noticed two groups of people who were in the same situation. Both groups were in the dark, and both groups were walking. It might even be argued that both groups were in the dark BECAUSE they had obeyed the voice of God's servant. But the first continued walk even though he couldn't see, because he trusted God. And the others tried to "keep walking" on their own terms. They had to understand the darkness, they had to "see" what they were passing though, they had to know what lay ahead before they could take another step. Of the two groups, the second group was more informed, they were better prepared, and yet it was they who ended in sorrow. It would seem that both groups were doing the will of God (obeying the voice of God's servant and walking) but the second group did it on their own terms. And in the end, they ended in sorrow. There are all kinds of Biblical examples of this. Abraham jumps to mind. He was a guy who trusted God for most of his life with huge decisions. He walked in the dark without a light for so long. But when he tried to light his own torch (to make God's promise of a son happen on his terms), he ended up sorry for that decision. Moses also comes to mind. He was a man that saw the oppression of his people, and as a prince of Egypt tried to do something about it on his own terms in his own timing, only to be expelled to 40 years of tending sheep before God was ready to use him. These were men of faith. These were people God greatly used. They were called by God and responded to his voice. But what did they do when they entered the darkness (perhaps for the thousandth time)? Did they continue to walk in their calling even though they didn't have the answers? Or, when it became dark, or they became tired of the darkness did they "take inventory of the situation" first, and do what was prudent? Did they do what made sense? And then I remember that often history judges men far different than how God judges men.
So as these days grow dark economically, perhaps politically. As those of us trying to follow God hear of wars, and rumors of wars, what is our response? Do we make a plan, do we make our own provisions, or do we keep walking though we don't know what is around the corner, trusting God to sustain us. One choice make sense to the world, and one does not. So Marla and I choose to walk on in darkness, encouraged by the power of your prayers and encouraged by comfort of God's word. Not because we can see the future, but because we can remember God's faithfulness to us in the past. And because we trust in His goodness.
Thank you for your prayers,
in Him, for Him,
Micah and Marla
Oct. 18, 200? - Gone with the Wind
********************************Cliff Notes at Page
Bottom*******************************************************************
*******
I guess it probably hits everyone. Those grey days of discouragement.
The days that you ignor the big questions, the hard questions, for fear
that they have no positive answers. The days that you feel
underappriciated and over worked. The days when you question if it is
really worth it. If there isn't an easier way, an excape. For me, these
days had been brewing for a couple of weeks. I think it was the
combination of a few projects that didn't turn out as I had expected
they'd turn out, and people who didn't act (or react) as I had been
expecting. There had been so few pats on the backs or encouraging words.
What was worse, when those words of recognition were being given to all
of my peers, somehow my name was not even mentioned. As weather had
turned dramatically colder, bringing with it rain and a sickness that had
attacked the three of us. I guess the combined effects of all of this
left my resistance down. My physical resistance as well as my emotional
resistance. And I found my self complaining. First to Marla, and then
to God.
"Lord, there has got to be an easier way to live. Living far from our
family, and the things that we like to do. The falling value of the
dollar, the rising costs of living here, the slowing economy in the
States, how can we raise the support need to return? Is there really any
value in us being here anyway? What does the future hold?"
The following morning as I continued reading through the book of Nehemiah
chapter 6 really spoke to me. Nehemiah who was following the will of
God. He was teaching the people of Isreal to truely become the people of
God. And yet in the middle of all of his good work, there were three
powerfull guys who opposed that which he was doing. In verse 13 he
writes: "He had been hired to scare me so that I would commit a sin."
And I began to think of the cases when big descicion are made in the
middle of a storm, and how often those descision lead us down the wrong
path, and lead us contrary to the will of God.
In my questioning and complaining I hadn't question if we were where God
wanted us to be. I hadn't question if we were doing what God has wanted
us to be doing. He has confirmed this in so many ways, for so long now.
But I questioned His reasons, I questioned His results (at least those we
can see after only 2 years here). I questioned his purpose, and I began
to doubt His resourses and His provision. Somehow thinking that if God
would answer these questions, I would be satisfied. Thinking that those
answers would provide the energy, the fuel, I needed to keep going. This
one-sided conversation I was having with God ended in the middle of the
night when He responded with the same words that Jesus spoke in John 4:34
"My food is to do the will of the One that sent me, and completing His
work." Through these verses it becomes clear that Jesus's energy, that
Jesus's fuel was found in the knowledge, in the conviction, that He was
where God wanted Him to be.
Is this knowledge, the knowing I am doing what God has for me to do,
enough to sustain me? Enough to give me strenght, enough to give me
force? In humility, I once again realized how far I have to go in my
growing into the like-ness of Christ. If I am to be like Christ, that
knowledge, that conviction, alone has to be enough to sustain me. It has
to be enough to uphold me. It has to be at the root of my strenght.
When discouragement come like a storm, it is this conviction that should
anchor me. Just as storms pass, discouragement will not last forever.
And when it passes, when the wind stops, I want us to still want to be
found in the middle of His plans for us.
And now a little bit from Marla...
Climbing onto a chair so I could reach the back of the tall
cupboard above the
bed in our little guest room, I found our long unused and almost
forgotten bag of socks, sweaters and jackets. Winter arrived this month
in Londrina, brazil and we are just absolutely freezing to death at 60
degrees. We’ve really begun to wonder how in the world we are going to
survive even summer time in Alaska! Bring on the wool socks and long
johns.
While we were hoping to be putting on those wool socks some time
soon we are still waiting for my permanent visa to be granted. The
government internet site where you are supposed to be able to check the
process has been down for several months. This means that each time we
want to check the process we go to the federal police here in Londrina
and have them access it for us. Last time they reported that it was
approved by the first desk and onto waiting for approval from desk number
two. The good news is that there are only two desks! So we continue to
wait and to trust God that He has a plan and that His timing in all of
this is perfect. Our plan is basically to get plane tickets to the
states as soon as my visa has been granted. We are looking forward to a
fundraising trip lasting somewhere between six months and a year. With
the falling value of the dollar and the addition of Samara to the family
our support account is getting closer and closer to the red each month,
and is urgently needing more funds. We’d love to be making some concrete
plans, you know setting up speaking at churches and visiting many of you,
but as of now we have no idea of any dates. So we continue to wait and
trust and pray that we are faithful to BE where God has us. We sure
appreciate your prayers that God would raise up financial supporters and
also in asking that my visa be granted SOON. I know that our parents
appreciate those prayers as well as they just can hardly wait to get
their arms around Samara.
Samara is 13 months old now, and we are astounded at how fast the
time has gone by. She is a very fun and busy little girl who loves music
and to be outdoors. Her first two words are both in Portuguese (other
than Mommy/Mãe) She says “ow wow” for dog and “bala” for ball. She loves
to go for walks and see the dogs on the street and she is a big fan of
watching her Daddy play soccer too. These days she is really into
playing with refrigerator magnets moving them between the fridge and
another metal cabinet in the kitchen, back and forth, back and forth.
She also has discovered the fun of “dressing up.” She’ll come out of her
room with a pair of pants on her head and carrying one of my shoes that
she wants to put on. Just pinning a dish towel around her shoulders will
entertain her for minutes on end. One of my favorite new things is to
pull a chair up to the counter and have Samara “help” me in the kitchen.
She is quite a little assistant we have lots of fun “working” together.
She truly is a delight and a joy. We are so blessed and thank God for
every day that we get to be her parents.
May 1st was a holiday here and our church and mother church had an
evangelistic retreat for the day at Camp Shalom. The idea of the retreat
was for the church members to invite friends, relatives, co-workers,
neighbors…who do not know Jesus. The morning was spent in a time of
worship, a short message and then small discussion groups, and ended with
worship and an invitation to accept Jesus as your personal savior..
Micah had invited the guys from the neighborhood that he plays soccer
with and six of them came. One of them accepted Christ at this retreat!
I spent the morning time with the 56 kids under age eleven that were
there. We sang songs, told the salvation message using a watermelon as
an example of our lives (black seeds=sin, red pulp=our heart…) Next we
divided the kids by age group and made salvation bracelets. Then it was
time for outdoor games like “red light- green light” and “sharks and
minnows” I was leading the group of four to six year olds and it was so
cute to watch them later as they met up with their parents for lunch to
see them explaining the significance of each color in their new bracelet.
We all had our picnic lunches and then the afternoon was free to hang
out, swim and play soccer. Micah is super excited that these “soccer
guys” are starting to respond to Jesus and asks for wisdom as he spends
time with them both on and off the soccer court.
Something that we hear again and again here is the difficulty that
parents are having raising their kids. They just have no idea what to do,
how to discipline, what types of consequences are appropriate etc. Micah
has been teaching a class on The Family and many people who signed up
were looking for help with parenting, but the class is more about how to
have a healthy marriage. So I was asked to teach a parenting workshop.
Yeah, me with my whole 1 year of experience!! So I went to some experts
for some help… I have a Love and Logic book that I’d let my friend Linda
borrow and she was so excited about the concepts and how much they were
helping with her son that she was just going on and on and on. So, a few
Saturday’s ago I gave a “Love and Logic” workshop for parents or anyone
who was interested. About 25 people came and I did my best to condense
the principles and strategies into about an hour and a half. The goal was
for people to go home that evening with tools in their parenting bag to
help them immediately, practical things that they could implement. Many
of the people who were at the workshop have expressed how great they
thought the material was and how it has helped them to start thinking in
a different way, to not loose control and to have hope again that
parenting can be fun. So yeah, for Love and Logic!
As I said Micah has been teaching a class on The Family that has been
both challenging and fun for him. He is discovering that teaching is lots
of hard work and prep, but also very rewarding. About a month ago Micah
went to a week long training where he learned how to start evangelistic
Bible studies in homes. So now he and Diogo are teaching some leaders
from our church as well as our mother church these concepts and
strategies with the hope of beginning some of these Bible studies for
non-believers in our neighborhoods.
As always we are ever thankful for your faithful prayers and support. We
know that God is using each one of you in a specific and special way in
the work He is doing here in Brazil. Knowing that you are praying really
encourages our hearts and at times helps us keep our heads above water.
And other times we are bursting with joy because we know that your
prayers are helping to open doors for people to know Jesus and that is SO
AWESOME. So thank you for letting God use you to not only bless us but
to be a part of bringing Brazilians into His kingdom. You are appreciated
and we also love to know how we can pray for you so please email us with
what is up in your lives, families, jobs, hearts and ministries. We pray
that God shows you today just how much He delights in you and also we
pray that we’ll be sharing lunch or a cup of coffee with you in person
sometime soon, and yes those will be long johns you see peeking out from
under our jeans.
If you are interested we have posted some videos of Samara on YouTube...
http://www.youtube.com/routon27
********************************Cliff
Notes********************************************************************
-Micah started the email complaining to God. "why are things hard?"
"Isn't there an easier way?" Then in the middle of the night God reminded
Micah of the scripture where Jesus says "My food is to do the will of Him
who sent me." (I guess that's what is called Christain perspective)
-Still waiting for Marla's permanant visa before we can make plans for a
much needed fundraising trip to the States
-May 1st was an evangelistic retreat where one of Micah's "soccer guys"
accepted Christ.
-Samara is wonderful and fun and a total delight
-Marla taught a "Love and Logic" workshop for parents that went well and
seems to be having some positive results
-Micah is helping train leaders to begin a new evangelistic Bible study
ministry
-We are SO thankful for YOU
Bottom*******************************************************************
*******
I guess it probably hits everyone. Those grey days of discouragement.
The days that you ignor the big questions, the hard questions, for fear
that they have no positive answers. The days that you feel
underappriciated and over worked. The days when you question if it is
really worth it. If there isn't an easier way, an excape. For me, these
days had been brewing for a couple of weeks. I think it was the
combination of a few projects that didn't turn out as I had expected
they'd turn out, and people who didn't act (or react) as I had been
expecting. There had been so few pats on the backs or encouraging words.
What was worse, when those words of recognition were being given to all
of my peers, somehow my name was not even mentioned. As weather had
turned dramatically colder, bringing with it rain and a sickness that had
attacked the three of us. I guess the combined effects of all of this
left my resistance down. My physical resistance as well as my emotional
resistance. And I found my self complaining. First to Marla, and then
to God.
"Lord, there has got to be an easier way to live. Living far from our
family, and the things that we like to do. The falling value of the
dollar, the rising costs of living here, the slowing economy in the
States, how can we raise the support need to return? Is there really any
value in us being here anyway? What does the future hold?"
The following morning as I continued reading through the book of Nehemiah
chapter 6 really spoke to me. Nehemiah who was following the will of
God. He was teaching the people of Isreal to truely become the people of
God. And yet in the middle of all of his good work, there were three
powerfull guys who opposed that which he was doing. In verse 13 he
writes: "He had been hired to scare me so that I would commit a sin."
And I began to think of the cases when big descicion are made in the
middle of a storm, and how often those descision lead us down the wrong
path, and lead us contrary to the will of God.
In my questioning and complaining I hadn't question if we were where God
wanted us to be. I hadn't question if we were doing what God has wanted
us to be doing. He has confirmed this in so many ways, for so long now.
But I questioned His reasons, I questioned His results (at least those we
can see after only 2 years here). I questioned his purpose, and I began
to doubt His resourses and His provision. Somehow thinking that if God
would answer these questions, I would be satisfied. Thinking that those
answers would provide the energy, the fuel, I needed to keep going. This
one-sided conversation I was having with God ended in the middle of the
night when He responded with the same words that Jesus spoke in John 4:34
"My food is to do the will of the One that sent me, and completing His
work." Through these verses it becomes clear that Jesus's energy, that
Jesus's fuel was found in the knowledge, in the conviction, that He was
where God wanted Him to be.
Is this knowledge, the knowing I am doing what God has for me to do,
enough to sustain me? Enough to give me strenght, enough to give me
force? In humility, I once again realized how far I have to go in my
growing into the like-ness of Christ. If I am to be like Christ, that
knowledge, that conviction, alone has to be enough to sustain me. It has
to be enough to uphold me. It has to be at the root of my strenght.
When discouragement come like a storm, it is this conviction that should
anchor me. Just as storms pass, discouragement will not last forever.
And when it passes, when the wind stops, I want us to still want to be
found in the middle of His plans for us.
And now a little bit from Marla...
Climbing onto a chair so I could reach the back of the tall
cupboard above the
bed in our little guest room, I found our long unused and almost
forgotten bag of socks, sweaters and jackets. Winter arrived this month
in Londrina, brazil and we are just absolutely freezing to death at 60
degrees. We’ve really begun to wonder how in the world we are going to
survive even summer time in Alaska! Bring on the wool socks and long
johns.
While we were hoping to be putting on those wool socks some time
soon we are still waiting for my permanent visa to be granted. The
government internet site where you are supposed to be able to check the
process has been down for several months. This means that each time we
want to check the process we go to the federal police here in Londrina
and have them access it for us. Last time they reported that it was
approved by the first desk and onto waiting for approval from desk number
two. The good news is that there are only two desks! So we continue to
wait and to trust God that He has a plan and that His timing in all of
this is perfect. Our plan is basically to get plane tickets to the
states as soon as my visa has been granted. We are looking forward to a
fundraising trip lasting somewhere between six months and a year. With
the falling value of the dollar and the addition of Samara to the family
our support account is getting closer and closer to the red each month,
and is urgently needing more funds. We’d love to be making some concrete
plans, you know setting up speaking at churches and visiting many of you,
but as of now we have no idea of any dates. So we continue to wait and
trust and pray that we are faithful to BE where God has us. We sure
appreciate your prayers that God would raise up financial supporters and
also in asking that my visa be granted SOON. I know that our parents
appreciate those prayers as well as they just can hardly wait to get
their arms around Samara.
Samara is 13 months old now, and we are astounded at how fast the
time has gone by. She is a very fun and busy little girl who loves music
and to be outdoors. Her first two words are both in Portuguese (other
than Mommy/Mãe) She says “ow wow” for dog and “bala” for ball. She loves
to go for walks and see the dogs on the street and she is a big fan of
watching her Daddy play soccer too. These days she is really into
playing with refrigerator magnets moving them between the fridge and
another metal cabinet in the kitchen, back and forth, back and forth.
She also has discovered the fun of “dressing up.” She’ll come out of her
room with a pair of pants on her head and carrying one of my shoes that
she wants to put on. Just pinning a dish towel around her shoulders will
entertain her for minutes on end. One of my favorite new things is to
pull a chair up to the counter and have Samara “help” me in the kitchen.
She is quite a little assistant we have lots of fun “working” together.
She truly is a delight and a joy. We are so blessed and thank God for
every day that we get to be her parents.
May 1st was a holiday here and our church and mother church had an
evangelistic retreat for the day at Camp Shalom. The idea of the retreat
was for the church members to invite friends, relatives, co-workers,
neighbors…who do not know Jesus. The morning was spent in a time of
worship, a short message and then small discussion groups, and ended with
worship and an invitation to accept Jesus as your personal savior..
Micah had invited the guys from the neighborhood that he plays soccer
with and six of them came. One of them accepted Christ at this retreat!
I spent the morning time with the 56 kids under age eleven that were
there. We sang songs, told the salvation message using a watermelon as
an example of our lives (black seeds=sin, red pulp=our heart…) Next we
divided the kids by age group and made salvation bracelets. Then it was
time for outdoor games like “red light- green light” and “sharks and
minnows” I was leading the group of four to six year olds and it was so
cute to watch them later as they met up with their parents for lunch to
see them explaining the significance of each color in their new bracelet.
We all had our picnic lunches and then the afternoon was free to hang
out, swim and play soccer. Micah is super excited that these “soccer
guys” are starting to respond to Jesus and asks for wisdom as he spends
time with them both on and off the soccer court.
Something that we hear again and again here is the difficulty that
parents are having raising their kids. They just have no idea what to do,
how to discipline, what types of consequences are appropriate etc. Micah
has been teaching a class on The Family and many people who signed up
were looking for help with parenting, but the class is more about how to
have a healthy marriage. So I was asked to teach a parenting workshop.
Yeah, me with my whole 1 year of experience!! So I went to some experts
for some help… I have a Love and Logic book that I’d let my friend Linda
borrow and she was so excited about the concepts and how much they were
helping with her son that she was just going on and on and on. So, a few
Saturday’s ago I gave a “Love and Logic” workshop for parents or anyone
who was interested. About 25 people came and I did my best to condense
the principles and strategies into about an hour and a half. The goal was
for people to go home that evening with tools in their parenting bag to
help them immediately, practical things that they could implement. Many
of the people who were at the workshop have expressed how great they
thought the material was and how it has helped them to start thinking in
a different way, to not loose control and to have hope again that
parenting can be fun. So yeah, for Love and Logic!
As I said Micah has been teaching a class on The Family that has been
both challenging and fun for him. He is discovering that teaching is lots
of hard work and prep, but also very rewarding. About a month ago Micah
went to a week long training where he learned how to start evangelistic
Bible studies in homes. So now he and Diogo are teaching some leaders
from our church as well as our mother church these concepts and
strategies with the hope of beginning some of these Bible studies for
non-believers in our neighborhoods.
As always we are ever thankful for your faithful prayers and support. We
know that God is using each one of you in a specific and special way in
the work He is doing here in Brazil. Knowing that you are praying really
encourages our hearts and at times helps us keep our heads above water.
And other times we are bursting with joy because we know that your
prayers are helping to open doors for people to know Jesus and that is SO
AWESOME. So thank you for letting God use you to not only bless us but
to be a part of bringing Brazilians into His kingdom. You are appreciated
and we also love to know how we can pray for you so please email us with
what is up in your lives, families, jobs, hearts and ministries. We pray
that God shows you today just how much He delights in you and also we
pray that we’ll be sharing lunch or a cup of coffee with you in person
sometime soon, and yes those will be long johns you see peeking out from
under our jeans.
If you are interested we have posted some videos of Samara on YouTube...
http://www.youtube.com/routon27
********************************Cliff
Notes********************************************************************
-Micah started the email complaining to God. "why are things hard?"
"Isn't there an easier way?" Then in the middle of the night God reminded
Micah of the scripture where Jesus says "My food is to do the will of Him
who sent me." (I guess that's what is called Christain perspective)
-Still waiting for Marla's permanant visa before we can make plans for a
much needed fundraising trip to the States
-May 1st was an evangelistic retreat where one of Micah's "soccer guys"
accepted Christ.
-Samara is wonderful and fun and a total delight
-Marla taught a "Love and Logic" workshop for parents that went well and
seems to be having some positive results
-Micah is helping train leaders to begin a new evangelistic Bible study
ministry
-We are SO thankful for YOU
Aug. 8, 2008 - 150% Person
*************************************Cliffnotes Available at page bottom********************************************
So what is a 150% person? It's really no mystery if you've been to OMS's new missionary training in the last 5 years. It's a term that was created to capture the idea of becoming part of another culture. Not just a spectator, but a participant. You have to voluntarily let go of some of your own cultural identity, in order to embrace and personify the new culture in which you are a foreigner And as you do so, little by little you become less a foreigner You become more trusted, you become relatable, you become more intimate with those whom you came to serve. It is no easy process to choose to let slip away parts of your own cultural identity, in order to assimilate another. But when all is said and done, is there another way? Missionaries have been doing this for generations. The apostle Paul said it best when he said in 1 Corinthians 9:22 "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some of them." You've seen old faded pictures of these types of missionaries. He was the tall white guy in the black-and-white picture dressed like the Japanese that surrounded him. Perhaps you even remember them passing through your church. The mission Sundays when he'd come with his slide reels. The lights would dim, and the stories would begin. Stories of the lives of these strange faces that seemed to look back at you from the screen. Strange faces, strange names, strange customs. At least, strange to us....but not to him. He knew them all. And though he was here with us that day, much of his heart was still in another country . Sure he was dressed like us, and he looked like us, but he was a man divided, you could tell just by looking. Belonging fully neither here or there. A man without a home. And this is the price of becoming a 150% person.
Ironically, this was particularly the price that I did not want to pay when I started in missions over 8 years ago. I guess that is at least part of the reason why short-term missions was so appealing to me initially. I thought I could zip in, see a culture, experience different things, and zip out. Gain an experience, but not have to change, not have to pay that price; not have to loose a piece of who I was, not have become that man divided. Then, I lived in a different culture where I saw the necessity of becoming a 150% person. I figured I could adapt, I could change....but this change would only have to be a temporary change. Like the 007 in the movies, I figured that when I boarded the international flight that would bring me back to the US, I could turn it off, I could come back whole. I would not have to leave a part of my heart in a different land. But as the reality of leaving Brazil for a while, and Londrina for good, came upon us a little over 2 weeks ago, I have found that I'm having a much harder time packing, a much harder time leaving than I had hoped. And through this time of packing, this division is only becoming more and more apparent.
It is the anticipation and experience of sadness and excitement at the same time. Excitement to get to the US, to see friends and family, the eat a good burger, to watch Samara play with her grandparents, to watch a sunset on the Oregon coast. And yet the sadness of saying goodbye. The friends God has blessed us with here, the memories of so many first with Samara, the church we have invested in so much. It's the excitement of being home for Christmas surrounded by family combined the sadness of knowing to do such, we'll miss the wedding of a good friend, and the births of two of our friends babies. It's the phone calls from our parents preparing their house for their grandchild, and the meals with good friends passed in awkward silence because everybody knows that we'll not be able to hang out again. Then there are also so many of those little things that have only become sentimental when we've realized that we may never experience them again. The pack of friendly neighborhood dogs that roam the streets at will, or the kids playing in the streets that Samara loves so much The washing our sidewalks, the clapping at people's gates, or the awkward teenage boy that always comes and yells for me right after we put Samara down for her afternoon nap. It's bittersweet.
With each picture that is taken off the wall, with each box packed, this bitter-sweetness intensifies. I guess we can be thankful for the to-do lists that we have to work though each day, and for the business of preparation that temporarily takes our minds off of things. But these thoughts are always there, not far off. Easily triggered. In fact I debated for a while even writing this e-mail, but when we started this journey nearly 4 years ago, I made a commitment to remain as transparent as I could in these e-mails. And this bitter-sweetness is part of this journey. I imagine it will become a familiar part.
And yet, when I stop to think of all of these emotions, they are not something I want shielded from. For in experiencing them, it become becomes increasingly evident the extent of our investment here. And the tears that we see in others eyes only serve to show how warmly and readily hearts here in this community received us. I also would not desire any shade of pity from anybody in this process. Though it is hard, it only serves to remind me in a real way that this world, neither Brazil or the US, is my home. And my heart will never be fully satisfied until we are all in that place which our Father is preparing for us. And when we all do get there.... I have some friends I'd like to introduce you all to.
Prayer requests:
-Health as we travel. Marla's pregnancy has left her very tired lately
-Transition for all of us, especially for Samara.
-The church family here, as they were told just last week that we will likely not be returning to work there
-For our time of support raising in the state, that God will raise up new partners to join us in prayer and financial support.
Thanks for being a part of this,
Micah and Marla
ps. The first picture is of Samara helping us pack. And the second is of our worship team praying before our Sunday service
******************Cliffnotes: 150% Person************************************************
This e-mail touches on some of the difficulty assosiated with living in two different cultures. Obviously these seem to surface more in times of tansition. And it makes sense
So what is a 150% person? It's really no mystery if you've been to OMS's new missionary training in the last 5 years. It's a term that was created to capture the idea of becoming part of another culture. Not just a spectator, but a participant. You have to voluntarily let go of some of your own cultural identity, in order to embrace and personify the new culture in which you are a foreigner And as you do so, little by little you become less a foreigner You become more trusted, you become relatable, you become more intimate with those whom you came to serve. It is no easy process to choose to let slip away parts of your own cultural identity, in order to assimilate another. But when all is said and done, is there another way? Missionaries have been doing this for generations. The apostle Paul said it best when he said in 1 Corinthians 9:22 "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some of them." You've seen old faded pictures of these types of missionaries. He was the tall white guy in the black-and-white picture dressed like the Japanese that surrounded him. Perhaps you even remember them passing through your church. The mission Sundays when he'd come with his slide reels. The lights would dim, and the stories would begin. Stories of the lives of these strange faces that seemed to look back at you from the screen. Strange faces, strange names, strange customs. At least, strange to us....but not to him. He knew them all. And though he was here with us that day, much of his heart was still in another country . Sure he was dressed like us, and he looked like us, but he was a man divided, you could tell just by looking. Belonging fully neither here or there. A man without a home. And this is the price of becoming a 150% person.
Ironically, this was particularly the price that I did not want to pay when I started in missions over 8 years ago. I guess that is at least part of the reason why short-term missions was so appealing to me initially. I thought I could zip in, see a culture, experience different things, and zip out. Gain an experience, but not have to change, not have to pay that price; not have to loose a piece of who I was, not have become that man divided. Then, I lived in a different culture where I saw the necessity of becoming a 150% person. I figured I could adapt, I could change....but this change would only have to be a temporary change. Like the 007 in the movies, I figured that when I boarded the international flight that would bring me back to the US, I could turn it off, I could come back whole. I would not have to leave a part of my heart in a different land. But as the reality of leaving Brazil for a while, and Londrina for good, came upon us a little over 2 weeks ago, I have found that I'm having a much harder time packing, a much harder time leaving than I had hoped. And through this time of packing, this division is only becoming more and more apparent.
It is the anticipation and experience of sadness and excitement at the same time. Excitement to get to the US, to see friends and family, the eat a good burger, to watch Samara play with her grandparents, to watch a sunset on the Oregon coast. And yet the sadness of saying goodbye. The friends God has blessed us with here, the memories of so many first with Samara, the church we have invested in so much. It's the excitement of being home for Christmas surrounded by family combined the sadness of knowing to do such, we'll miss the wedding of a good friend, and the births of two of our friends babies. It's the phone calls from our parents preparing their house for their grandchild, and the meals with good friends passed in awkward silence because everybody knows that we'll not be able to hang out again. Then there are also so many of those little things that have only become sentimental when we've realized that we may never experience them again. The pack of friendly neighborhood dogs that roam the streets at will, or the kids playing in the streets that Samara loves so much The washing our sidewalks, the clapping at people's gates, or the awkward teenage boy that always comes and yells for me right after we put Samara down for her afternoon nap. It's bittersweet.
With each picture that is taken off the wall, with each box packed, this bitter-sweetness intensifies. I guess we can be thankful for the to-do lists that we have to work though each day, and for the business of preparation that temporarily takes our minds off of things. But these thoughts are always there, not far off. Easily triggered. In fact I debated for a while even writing this e-mail, but when we started this journey nearly 4 years ago, I made a commitment to remain as transparent as I could in these e-mails. And this bitter-sweetness is part of this journey. I imagine it will become a familiar part.
And yet, when I stop to think of all of these emotions, they are not something I want shielded from. For in experiencing them, it become becomes increasingly evident the extent of our investment here. And the tears that we see in others eyes only serve to show how warmly and readily hearts here in this community received us. I also would not desire any shade of pity from anybody in this process. Though it is hard, it only serves to remind me in a real way that this world, neither Brazil or the US, is my home. And my heart will never be fully satisfied until we are all in that place which our Father is preparing for us. And when we all do get there.... I have some friends I'd like to introduce you all to.
Prayer requests:
-Health as we travel. Marla's pregnancy has left her very tired lately
-Transition for all of us, especially for Samara.
-The church family here, as they were told just last week that we will likely not be returning to work there
-For our time of support raising in the state, that God will raise up new partners to join us in prayer and financial support.
Thanks for being a part of this,
Micah and Marla
ps. The first picture is of Samara helping us pack. And the second is of our worship team praying before our Sunday service
******************Cliffnotes: 150% Person************************************************
This e-mail touches on some of the difficulty assosiated with living in two different cultures. Obviously these seem to surface more in times of tansition. And it makes sense
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